Shadows: The Twilight Saga
by MasonLoganTaylorMatthews
Summary: The beloved novel "eclipse" retold in the view point of Ben Swan (Bella Swan) as he must decide which path his live will take, his love for girlfriend Eliza Cullen (Edward Cullen) or friendship with Julia Black (Jacob Black). His choice just may ignite a war between vampire and werewolf, and he also must survive an army of vampires that are coming to kill him. Read and Review!
1. Preface

_**Shadows**_

An Eclipse fan-fiction

_Some say the world will end in fire,_

_Some say in ice._

_From what I've tasted of desire_

_I hold with those who favor fire._

_But if it had to perish twice, _

_I think I know enough of hate_

_To say that for destruction ice_

_Is also great_

_And would suffice._

ALL OUR ATTEMPTS AT SUBTERFUGE HAD BEEN IN VAIN. With ice in my heart, I watched her prepare to defend me. Her intense concentration betrayed no hint of doubt, though she was outnumbered. I knew that we could expect no help—at this moment, her family was fighting for their lives just as surely as she was for ours.

Would I ever learn the outcome of that other fight? Find out who the winners and the losers were? Would I live long enough for that?

The odds didn't look so great.

Black eyes, wild with their fierce craving for my death, watched for the moment when my protector's attention would be diverted. The moment when I would surely die.

Somewhere, far, far away in the cold forest, a wolf howled.


	2. Chapter 1 Condition

Ben,

I don't know why you're making Charlotte carry notes to Billie like we're in second grade—if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the

You made the choice here, okay? You can't have it both ways when

What part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to

Look, I know I'm being a bitch, but there's just no way around

We can't be friends when you're spending all you time with a bunch of

It just makes it worse when I think about you too much, so don't write anymore

Yeah, I miss you too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry.

Julia

I ran my fingers across the page, feeling the dents where she had pressed on the pen too hard. I could picture her writing this—scrawling the angry letters in her neat handwriting, slashing through the line after line when the words came out wrong, maybe even snapping the pen in her strong hand; that would explain the ink splatters. I could imagine the frustration pulling her black eyebrows together and crumpling her forehead. Had I been there I would've laughed at her, saying _Don't give yourself a brain hemorrhage, Julia. Just spit it out! _

Laughing was the last thing I felt like doing now, as I re-scanned the paper, memorizing every word. While I did this I caught the unmistakable scent of a smoking burner rising from the kitchen. In any other house, the fact that someone besides me was cooking would not have startled me, but my mom's cooking was something to be feared.

I shoved the wrinkled piece of paper in my back pocket and rushed to the kitchen just in the nick of time. The jar of spaghetti sauce Charlotte had jammed into the microwave was only on its first revolution when I yanked the door open and pulled it out.

"What did I do wrong?" Charlotte demanded.

"You're supposed to take the lid off first, Mom. Metal and microwaves do not mix!" I swiftly removed the lid as I spoke, poured half the sauce into a bowl, and then put the bowl inside the microwave and the jar back in the fridge. I fixed the time and pressed start. My mother watched my adjustments with pursed lips.

"Well did I get the noodles right?"

I looked in the pan on the stove—the source of the smell that had altered me in the first place. "Stirring helps," I said with a smile, amazed that my mother couldn't even make some noodles. I found a spoon and tried to de-clump the mushy hunk that was scalded to the bottom. Charlotte sighed. "So what's this all about?" I asked her. She folded her arms across her chest and glared out the back windows into the sheeting rain.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she grumbled. I on the other hand was worried. Charlotte cooking? And what was with her surly attitude? Eliza wasn't here yet, and usually my mother reserved this kind of behavior for when my girlfriend was over, doing her best to illustrate the theme of "unwelcome" with every word and posture. Charlotte's efforts were unnecessary of course—Eliza knew exactly what my mother was thinking.

The word _girlfriend_ had me chewing on the inside of my cheek with an all too familiar tension while I stirred the pasta. It wasn't the right word, not at all. It didn't at all describe what we truly meant to each other, what she meant to me, no words could truly ever do that; although as cliché as they sound, the words _destiny _and _fate_ were close.

Eliza had another word in mind as of late, and that word was the source of most my tension lately. _Fiancée. _Ugh. I shuddered away from the thought. I choose to go back to why my mother was cooking.

"So, did I miss something? Since when do you cook dinner?" I asked her. The pasta lump bobbled in the boiling water as I poked it. "Or _try_ to make dinner, at least." Charlotte shrugged.

"There's no law saying I can't cook in my own house."

"You would know," I replied, grinning as I eyed the badge pinned to her leather jacket.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," she said returning the grin, as she took off her jacket. She put it on the peg strictly reserved for her gear. Her gun belt was already slung in place—she hadn't felt the need to wear it to the station for the last few weeks. There had been no more disturbing disappearances to trouble the small town of Forks, Washington, no more sightings of the giant, mysterious wolves in the always rainy woods. . . .

I poked at the noodles in silence, guessing that Charlotte would get around to talking about whatever was bothering her in her own time. My mother was not a woman of many words, and the effort she had put into trying to orchestrate a sit-down dinner with me made it very clear there was something on her mind.

I glanced at the clock, something that I did every few minutes once the sun began to set behind the mountain peaks. Less than half an hour to go now.

Afternoons always seemed to suck now a days. Ever since my former best friend (and werewolf) Julia Black, had informed my mother that I had been riding on a motorcycle on the sly—a betrayal she's devised to get me grounded so that I wouldn't be able to spend time with my girlfriend (and vampire) Eliza Cullen—Eliza had been allowed to see me only from seven to nine thirty p.m., always inside the confines of my house, and under the very strict supervision of my mother's unfailingly crabby glare.

This of course was an escalation from the previous grounding that I had received for disappearing for three days and for cliff diving.

Of course I still saw Eliza at school, because there was nothing Charlotte could do about that. And of course Eliza spent almost every night in my room, though Charlotte wasn't quite aware of that. Eliza's ability to both climb up my two story window easily and silently, and having the ability to read Charlotte's mind allowed us to keep Charlotte out of the loop.

So though the afternoon was really the only time I spent away from Eliza, it was enough to make me restless, and the hours always seemed to drag on, and on. Still, I endured my punishment in silence, because in all honesty I deserved it, and because I didn't want to cause Charlotte any more pain. In two weeks I'd be graduating high school, and then I'd become a Cullen, by becoming a vampire. I would have to stay away from my mother for a few years at the minimum, possibly forever. I finally gave up on saving the pasta. "Mom, I'm sorry, but there is no way I can save this pasta. I'm just gonna order a pizza, on me." I said while walking to the phone to place my order. My mother walked to the table and opened the paper, within seconds she was cursing in disapproval. "You know I don't know why you read the paper, you always get mad—Yes, hi Jeff this is Ben Swan, I'd like to place an order for delivery—" My mother shook her head in despair.

"You know this is why everyone wants to live in a small town! This is ridiculous."

"What have big cities done this time?" I asked as I hung up the phone.

"Seattle's making a run for murder capital of the country. Seventeen unsolved murders in the last two weeks. Can you imagine having to live like that?"

"I _have_, Mom. Phoenix was pretty high up on the murder scale when it comes to large cities; I went to school with a guy who was murdered by his best-friend." Yet strangely I'd never been close to being murdered until I moved to the small, safe little town of Forks. In fact, I was still on several hit lists.

"We'll you couldn't pay me enough," Charlotte said. Charlotte continued to read the paper until the pizza came. I gave her the biggest slice, and served her, along with myself. We ate in silence for a moment, until Charlotte began to confess.

"You're right, I did have an ulterior motive for trying to cook dinner," she said with a large piece of pizza glued to the roof of her mouth. "I want to talk to you about something." I put my slice down on the plate and looked up at my mom.

"You could've just asked." She nodded, her eyebrows pulled together.

"Yah, I'll remember that next time—it's. . . it's about Julia." I felt my face harden.

"What about her?" I asked through stiff lips.

"Easy there Ben. I know you're still mad at her for turning you in, but it was the right thing to do—she was being responsible!"

"Responsible," I repeated angrily. "Vindictive, petty, maybe even curl, but not responsible." Charlotte stared, her mouth open slightly. "So what about her anyway?" The careless question repeated inside my head, anything but trivial. What about Julia? What was I going to do about her? My former best friend was what now? My enemy? I cringed at the thought. Charlotte's face was suddenly wary.

"Don't get angry at me, okay?"

"Mad?"

"Well it's about Eliza, too."

My eyes narrowed.

Charlotte's voice got gruffer. "I let her in my house, don't I?

"You do," I admitted. "Though it is rather uncomfortable with you watching us like a shark to a seal." I joked, resulting in Charlotte smiling, "I've been very good lately."

"Well that's kinda what I want to talk to you about." Her face stretched into a grin. I looked at her curious. "I'm thinking about easing up on your grounding—meaning you're free, you've served your sentence, you did the crime you've done the time…" I knew she was going to keep going on with the cop references so I stopped her.

"Mom," I said holding a hand up. "So you're saying that I'm free?" I asked hopeful. My mother sighed and nodded her head.

"Yes, but on one condition!" She said pointing a finger. I found that I was holding my breath, waiting to hear the condition. Charlotte sighed and looked up at me. "I want you to spend some time with your other friends, Jesse, Michelle…Julia." She stopped at the mention of my ex-friend's name. "Billie told me that Julia's been going through a hard time, and you know she was there for you when you needed a friend."

"Julia doesn't want to be my friend, Mom," I said through clenched teeth. "She wanted something more, and that wasn't going to happen."

"What? Eliza isn't up for some healthy competition?"

"There is no competition, Mom!" Charlotte held up her hands,

"Alright, alright." She continued to eat her pizza. I looked at the window, and watched as the rain poured down.

"So, I'm free as long as I try to make amends with Julia?" I asked not looking at her.

"Yah. I want you to try at least, make an effort." I looked down at my pizza, and took a large bite out of it.

"Okay, deal," I said my smile faded when I thought of the only problem with this new condition. Eliza was not going to make it easy for me to comply with Charlotte's new condition


	3. Chapter 2 Distractions

I FELT ODDLY BUOYANT AS I WALKED FROM MY LATIN CLASS TOWARDS THE CAFETERIA, AND IT WASN'T JUST BECAUSE I WAS HOLDING HANDS WITH THE MOST PERFECT PERSON IN THE WORLD, THOUGH THAT WAS CERTAINLY A PART OF IT.

Maybe it was the knowledge that my sentence was served and I was now a free man again. Or maybe it had nothing to do with me specifically. Perhaps it was the atmosphere of freedom that hung over me. School was winding down, and, for the senior class especially, there was a perceptible thrill in the air.

Complete freedom was so close, so touchable; it was as if I could taste it. It wasn't the many signs that littered the hallways, classrooms, and the office of the upcoming graduation, the reminders to purchase class rings, and the caps in gowns, or the yearbooks. It wasn't the ominous rose red posters that announced the upcoming prom. (Eliza assured me that she'd refrain from making me go, though she insisted that senior prom would be better than last years). No it was my personal freedom, the ending school year didn't give me the same pleasure it gave the other students, in fact, it only gave me headaches, and so I tried very hard to not think of it. But it was hard to avoid the omen when one was surrounded by people who constantly reminded you of it.

"Have you sent out your announcements, yet?" Alex asked when Eliza and I sat down at the lunch table. Alex's hair was messy and in his eyes, unlike his normal spiky do, and he had a slight frantic look in his eye. Alice, Jasper and Erica were already at the table, now sitting on either side of Alex. Erica was nose deep in her oceanography text book, preparing for the upcoming final. Alice was scrutinizing my boring jeans-and-a tee-shirt outfit in a way that made me feel very uncomfortable and self-conscience. My indifferent attitude towards fashion was a constant thorn in her side. If I'd allow it, she'd love nothing more than to dress me up every day—perhaps several times a day—like I was some oversized, living Ken doll.

"No," I answered Alex. "There's no point, really. Ryan knows when I'm graduating. Both my parents were only children, so there's no aunts, uncles, or cousins, so who else is there?"

"How about you, Alice?" Alex said turning to her.

"Already done," Alice said smiling.

"Lucky you." Alex sighed. "My mother has like a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to all of them! I mean, I'm going to get carpal tunnel. And I can't keep putting it off any longer."

"I'll help you," I volunteered. "If that's okay?"

Charlotte would like that. I saw from the corner of my eye Eliza smiling too. She must be happy that I was fulfilling Charlotte's conditions—without werewolves that is. Alex looked relieved.

"Ben, that's so nice of you! I'll come over to your house any time that's good for you."

"Actually, I'd rather go to your house if that's okay—I'm sick of mine. Charlotte ungrounded me last night." I said grinning as I announced the good news.

"Really?" Alex asked, mild excitement in his voice. "I thought you were in for like, life!"

"I'm more surprised than you are. I was convinced that I would have at least have to graduate before she set me free."

"Well this is great, Ben! We'll have to celebrate or something."

"You have no idea how good that sounds."

"What should we do?" Alice mused, her face lighting up at the possibilities. Alice's ideas were usually a little too grand for me, and I could see it in her eyes now—the tendency to take things way too far.

"Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt that I'm _that_ free."

"Free is free, right?" she insisted.

"I'm fairly confident that I still have boundaries—like the continental U.S., for example." Alex and Erica laughed, but Alice cast her eyes away in disappointment.

Suddenly Alice's eyes dilated as she stared off into the distance. Everyone at the table looked at her, wondering what was going on, all except Eliza, who had a mixture of fear and anger plastered on her face. And just as soon as it started it, it was over. Alice's eyes returned to normal and Jasper was soothing her by tracing circles on her back. Eliza chuckled slightly, trying to distract from the curious stares of the other.

"Alice, isn't it too early to start daydreaming?" Eliza said putting on a false smile. Alice, already knowing how to play the game rolled her eyes and started in on the acting game.

"Oh, Dear Sister, it is never too early to daydream, I was visualizing what the party at our house is going to look like."

Everyone stopped eating and again looked at Alice, though this time not with an odd curiosity, but with an amazed wonder.

"Pa—pa—party?" Erica stuttered, putting her textbook down. "At your house?"

Alice smiled brightly, "Well duh? Where else?" Alex swallowed his mouthful of French fries,

"It's just that, no one's ever seen your house, well except Ben." I felt both Erica and Alex's eyes borrowing into me.

"It's a nice place," I said quickly. Alice saved me from any other questions about the elusive Cullen mansion.

"Then it's settled, after graduation there's gonna be a party at my place, spread the word." And with that both Alice and Jasper got up and walked out of the cafeteria. I waited anxiously as the last hour and a half of school slowly ticked by, wanting to question Eliza about what Alice saw.

The opportunity came when Eliza drove me to the prescient, to meet my mom up for dinner at her favorite diner.

"So, what did Alice see?" I asked as we pulled out of the school parking lot. Eliza focused on the road, not looking at me.

"She saw the party; it's going to be big. The entire senior class is going to show up." Eliza said smoothly, so smoothly that I knew she was lying.

"Yah, and why don't I believe that?" I asked her raising my brow. Eliza shrugged and continued to look at the road. Eliza quickly changed the subject.

"So, how's Ryan?"

"Good, he and Phyllis are good, enjoying Tennessee." There was an awkward silence and it lastly the minute it took for us to get to the station.

Eliza had parked the car and got out with me when my mother walked out of the station house. Her brown eyes scrunched up in repulsion.

"So, is Eliza joining us for dinner?" she said with the same tone of repulsion. Eliza shook her head and smiled at her,

"No, ma'am. I'm just dropping him off."

Charlotte smiled, "Oh, that's a shame," she said and the smile grew. I gave Eliza a small kiss and whispered,

"See yah tonight." Eliza nodded and started to walk towards her car.

"Oh, Ben," she said as she opened her car door. "My parents wanted to remind you about those plan tickets they got you for your birthday, they expire soon. And it might be a good idea to go see your father. . .before graduation." I nodded, knowing what she meant by that.

"Alright, just as long as you use the companion ticket." I said calling her bluff. Eliza surprised me and agreed. My mother wasn't pleased; she rolled her eyes and started for her car.

"Great…more time together. Super!" I rolled my eyes at my mother's behavior, but thought it best not to test her. Eliza drove off before my mom started her old police car. I looked out the window and actually looked forward to some sun and time with my father.


	4. Chapter 3 Motives

THE SUN WAS SO DEEPLY BURIED BEHIND THE CLOUDS THAT THERE WAS NO WAY TO TELL IF IT HAD SET OR NOT. After the long flight—chasing the sun westward so that it seemed unmoving in the sky—it was especially disorienting; time seemed oddly variable. It took me by surprised when the forest gave way to the first buildings, signaling that we were nearly home.

"You've been quiet," Eliza observed. "Did the plane make you sick?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sad to leave?"

"More relieved than sad, I think." She raised one eyebrow at me. I knew it was useless and—much as I hated to admit it—unnecessary to ask her to keep her eyes on the road.

"Ryan is just so much more . . . _perceptive _than Charlotte in some ways. It was making me jumpy."

Eliza laughed. "Your father has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. He sees things differently than other people."

Insightful, it was a good description of my father. Most of the time Ryan was so bewildered by his own life that he didn't seem to notice much else. But this past long weekend he's been paying plenty close attention to me.

Phyllis was busy doing a charity concert with Reba and Carrie Underwood, and being alone with me and Eliza had only sharpened his focus. As soon as the hugs and greetings were out of the way, Ryan began to watch. And as he'd watched, his wide blue eyes had become first confused and then concerned.

This morning we'd gone for a walk along the lake he and Phyllis lived on. He wanted to show off the beauties of his new home, still hoping, I think, that the sun might lure me away from Forks. He'd also wanted to talk to me alone, and that was so easily arranged. Eliza had fabricated some stomach bug to give herself an excuse to stay inside the house all day. And while we were driving along the highway I thought of the conversation my father and I had earlier that day. . .

Ryan and I ambled along the shore of the lake, trying to keep our feet from the approaching waves. The air was so heavy with moisture that just breathing in and out was giving my lungs a workout.

"Ben?" my father asked, looking out past the sand to the lightly crashing waves as he spoke.

"What is it, Dad?"

He sighed, not meeting my gaze. "I'm worried. . . . "

"What's wrong?" I asked, anxious at once. "What can I do?"

"It's not me." He shook his head. "I'm worried about you. . .and Eliza." Ryan finally looked at me when he said her name, her face apologetic.

"Oh," I mumbled, fixing my eyes on a pair of wake boarders as they passed.

"You two are more serious than I'd been expecting," he went on to say. I frowned, quickly reviewing the last two days in my head. Eliza and I had barely touched—in front of him, at least. I wondered if Ryan was about to revisit the talk we had back when I was eleven.

"There is something. . . strange about the way you two are together," he murmured, his forehead creasing over his troubled eyes. "The way she looks at you—it's like she's about to jump in front of a bullet to save you or something."

I laughed, though I was still not able to meet his gaze.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"It's an intense thing," he said struggling to find the right words. "She's very careful around you. I feel like I don't really understand your relationship. Like there's some secret I'm missing."

"I think you're imagining things, Dad," I said quickly, struggling to keep my voice light. There was a flutter in my stomach. I'd forgotten just how much my father saw. Something about his simple view of the world cut through all the distractions and pierced right through the truth of things. This had never been a problem before. Until now, there had never been a secret that I could not tell him.

"It's not just her." He set his lips defensively. "I wish you could see the way you move around her."

"What do you mean?"

"The way you move—you orient yourself around her without even thinking about it. When she moves, you move. Like magnets…or gravity. You're like satellite or something. I've never seen anything like it."

"Don't tell me, you're reading mysteries again, aren't you?" I said forcing a smile. "Or is it sci-fi this time?"

Ryan flushed a light red. "That's beside the point."

"Found anything good?"

"Well, there's this one—but that's not the point. We're talking about you right now."

"You should stick to horror, Dad. You know how you freak yourself out with mysteries. You couldn't even watch Scooby Doo with me when I was a kid."

Despite himself, Ryan smiled. "I'm being silly, aren't I?"

For half a second I couldn't answer. Ryan was so easily swayed. Sometimes it was a good thing, because not all of his ideas were practical. But this was different; it pained me to see how quickly he caved in to my trivializing, especially since he was right this time.

He looked up at me, and I controlled my expression.

"Not silly—just being a dad."

He laughed and then gestured grandly toward the lake and the orchard that surrounded his property. "And all this isn't enough to get you to move back with your silly dad?"

I wiped my hand dramatically across my forehead and then pretended to wring out my shirt.

"You get use to the humidity," he promised.

"You can get use to the rain, too," I countered.

He elbowed me in my ribs, playfully and then raced me back to the house.

Other than his worries about me, he seemed happy enough. Content. He still looked at Phyllis with goo-goo eyes, and that was comforting. Surely his life was full and satisfying. Surely he didn't miss me that much, even now…

Eliza's icy fingers brushed my cheek. I looked down and blinked, coming back to the present. She leaned up and kissed my lips.

"You're home, Sleeping Beauty. Time to awake." We were stopped in front of Charlotte's house. The porch light was on and the cruiser was parked in the driveway. As I examined the house, I saw the curtain twitch in the living room window, flashing a line of white light across the dark lawn.

I sighed. Of course Charlotte was waiting to pounce. Eliza must have thought the same thing, because her expression was stiff and her eyes remote as she and I walked up to the front door.

"How bad?" I asked.

"Charlotte's not going to be difficult," Eliza promised, her voice level with no hint of humor. "She missed you."

My eyes narrowed in doubt. If that was the case, then why was Eliza tensed, as if readying to go into battle?

"Welcome home, kid!" Charlotte shouted as both Eliza and I entered the house. Her tone was soft and sincerer, like she had truly meant it. "How was Nashville?"

"Moist. Very Moist."

"So Ryan didn't sell you on the University they got down there?"

"He tried, but they don't have the best science program."

Charlotte smiled, and then mumbled something about an 'Eliza Program' before turning to her.

"Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes," Eliza answered in a serene tone. "Ryan and Phyllis were very hospitable."

"That's…um, good. Glad you had fun." Charlotte turned away from Eliza and pulled me in for an unexpected hug.

"Impressive," I whispered in her ear.

She rumbled a laugh. "I really missed you, Ben. The food around here sucks without you."

"I'll get right on it," I said heading for the kitchen.

"Would you call Julia first? She's been bugging me every hour since six this morning. I promised that you'd call her before you got unpacked."

I didn't have to look at Eliza to feel that she was too still, too cold beside me. So this was the cause of the tension.

"Julia wants to talk? To me?"

"Pretty bad, I'd say. She wouldn't tell me what it was about—just that it was important." The phone rang then, shrill and demanding.

"That's her again, I'd bet my next paycheck on it." Charlotte shouted from her seat by the T.V.

"I got it," I hurried to the kitchen. I grabbed the phone mid-ring, and twisted around so that I was facing the wall. "Hello?"

"You're back," Julia said.

Her familiar soft, yet strong voice sent a wave of wistfulness through me. A thousand memories spun in my head, tangling together—a rocky beach strewn with driftwood, a garage made of plastic sheds, cold sodas by a fire, a tiny room with one too-small loveseat. The laughter in her deep-set black eyes, the feverish heat of her hand around mine, the flash of white teeth against her tan skin, her face stretching into the wide smile that had always been the key to a secret door where only kindred spirits could enter.

It felt a lot like homesickness, this longing for the place and person who had sheltered me through the darkest nights, the shadows of depression. I cleared the lump from my throat. "Yes," I answered.

"Why didn't you call me?" Julia demanded. Her angry tone instantly got my back up. "Because I've been in this house for exactly a minute and your call interrupted Charlotte, who was telling me that you'd called."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Sure, Now, why are you harassing Charlotte?"

"I needed to talk to you."

"Yah, I figured out that part on my own. Go ahead."

There was a short pause.

"You going to school tomorrow?" I frowned at myself, unable to make sense of the question. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. Just curious." Another pause.

"So what did you want to talk about, Julia?"

She hesitated. "Nothing really, I guess. I…wanted to hear your voice."

"Yeah, I know. I'm so glad you called me Julia. I…" But I didn't know what more to say. I wanted to tell her that I was on my way to La Push right now. And I couldn't tell her that.

"I have to go," she said abruptly.

"What?"

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"But Julia—"

She was already gone. I listen to the dial tone with disbelief. "That was short," I muttered.

"Is everything alright?" Eliza asked. Her voice was low and careful. I turned slowly to face her. Her expression was perfectly smooth—impossible to read.

"I don't know. I wonder what that was about." It didn't make sense that Julia had been hounding Charlotte all day just to ask me if I was going to school. And if she'd wanted to hear my voice, then why hang up so quickly?

"Your guess is probably better than mine," Eliza said, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"Mmm," I murmured. That was ture. I knew Julia inside and out. It really shouldn't be so complicated to figure out her motivations.

With my thoughts miles away—about fifteen miles away, up the road to La Push—I stared combing through the fridge, assembling ingredients for Charlotte's dinner. Eliza leaned against the counter, and I was distantly aware that her eyes were on my face, but too preoccupied to worry about what she saw there.

The school thing seemed like the key to me. That was the only real question Julia had asked. And she had to be after an answer to something, or she wouldn't have been bugging Charlotte so persistently. Why would my attendance record matter to her, though?

I tried to think about it in a logical way. So, if I hadn't been going to school tomorrow, what would be the problem with that, from Julia's perspective? Charlotte had given me a little grief about missing a day of school so close to finals, but I'd convinced her that one Friday wasn't going to derail my studies. Julia would hardly care about that. My brain refused to come up with any brilliant insights. Maybe I was missing some vital piece of information.

What could have changed in the past three days that was so important that Julia would break her long streak of silence? What difference could three days make?

I froze in the middle of the kitchen. The package of chicken slipped from my numb fingers. It took me a slow second to miss the thud it should have made against the floor.

Eliza had caught it and thrown it on the counter. Her arms where already around me, her lips at my ear.

"What's wrong? I shook my head, dazed. Three days could change everything. Hadn't I just been thinking about how impossible the notion of college was? How could I be around anyone after I'd gone through the painful three-day conversion that would cut the strings of my mortality, so that I could spend forever with Eliza? The conversion that would make me a prisoner to my own thirst…

Had Charlotte told Billie that I'd vanished for three days? Had Billie jumped to the conclusion? Had Julia really been asking me if I was still human? Making sure that the werewolves' treaty had remained unbroken—that none of the Cullens had dared **_bite_** a human? But did she honestly think that I would come home to Charlotte if that was the case? Eliza shook me gently. "Ben?" She asked, truly anxious now.

"I think…I think she was checking," I muttered. "Checking to make sure I was still human." Eliza stiffened, and a low hiss sounded in my ear. "We'll have to leave," I whispered. "Before. So that it doesn't break the treaty. We won't ever be able to come back."

Her arms tightened around me. "I know."

"Ahem." Charlotte cleared her throat, loudly behind us. I jumped, and pulled free of Eliza's arms. My face getting hot and red. Eliza smiled and leaned back against the counter.

"If you don't want to make dinner, I can order us a pizza," Charlotte hinted.

"No that's okay, I'm already started."

"Okay," Charlotte said. She propped herself against the doorframe, folding her arms. I sighed and got to work, trying to ignore my audience.

"If I ask you to do something, would you trust me?" Eliza asked, an edge to her soft voice.

We were almost at school. Eliza had been relaxed and joking just a moment ago, and now suddenly her hands were clenched tight on the steering wheel, her knuckles straining in an effort not to snap it into pieces.

I stared at her anxious expression—her eyes were far away, like she was listening to distant voices.

"That depends."

We pulled into the school lot.

"Just stay in the car for a moment, kay?" She got out of her car and I followed. Eliza looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Of course not," she said looking forward.

It was then I saw her. Julia was standing over her bike, waiting for someone, presumably Eliza or I, or both. I grabbed Eliza's hand and we walked forward. I couldn't believe that Julia was here. Was she here to check up on me? Make sure that if I was a blood graved vampire, that I wasn't going to slaughter the entire school? Too soon the three of us were inches away from each other. Eliza gave a crude nod towards Julia.

Julia only looked at me. "Does he know?" she asked Eliza. Eliza took a very close step towards Julia, and though Julia had a good six inches on her, Eliza seemed to tower over Julia.

"Just leave—NOW!" I looked at Eliza, bewildered, wondering what could make her so eager for Julia to leave.

"Come on now Eliza, he has a right to know," Julia said with a smug smile. "After all he's the one the red-head wants."

Eliza closed her eyes, and sighed, cursing under her breath. So that's why she decided we should go see my father, not because she wanted me to see him before it was too late, but because Victoria decided to pay another visit.

"Victoria was here." I said turning to Eliza, who was avoiding my gaze, by staring at her feet. "We're going to have a talk about this later." I added, beyond pissed that she had lied and deceived me.

"Also, keep in mind that even though we both want the same leech dead, you and your little coven are to say off our land. Or next time, someone's head might be ripped off." Julia said, smiling at the warning.

"Wait, what?" I asked a little panicked, worried that someone had been hurt.

"Emmett and Paul had a run in—no one was hurt." Eliza said, sensing my anxiety. Julia scuffed.

"A 'run in' your brother leeched came on our turf—"

"Trying to kill the same vampire you were—the one that is after me!" I said in a hushed yell. "Paul was never good at controlling his damn temper." I added; now mad at both of them. Julia spit on the ground and began to walk away. Instantly guilt took over me; I shouldn't have snapped at Julia. "Julia hold on," I said walking towards her, when I felt a tug on my arm. Eliza looked at me with pleading eyes,

"Ben—please," she said, her voice trembling. I sighed and pulled her arm away.

"I'll be fine," I assured her. I walked over to her, and kissed her lightly on the lips. I gave her a reassuring smile before walking over to Julia.

She was standing next to her bike. She smiled victoriously at Eliza.

"Wipe that smile off your face, Julia. I'm only doing this because I want to talk to you."

"Whatever eases the cheating guilt," Julia said handing me a helmet. I put it on and pushed Julia off the seat.

"I'm driving," I said to her. Julia didn't seem to mind. She got behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I didn't need to look to know that she was smiling at Eliza, thinking she had just won something. Not wanting to change my mind, I started the bike and speed off out of the parking lot.


	5. Chapter 4 Details

WE GOT TO LA PUSH WITHIN THRITY MINUTES. Julia instructed me to go to Emily's house. The moment I cut off the ignition, we were greeted by several familiar faces. Embry, Jared and Quil all ran from the front door and towards us.

"Why, look what the wolf dragged in," Embry said while eating a chicken leg. They all smiled and greeted me as an old friend—something that I didn't think would've been possible. All three of them looked so happy to see me, and it wasn't too long until the teasing started.

"Thank God, you're back Ben, I don't know how much longer I could've taken Julia's incisive depressing monologue," Jared said poking at Julia with a greasy finger.

"I wish Ben would call," Quil said imitating Julia.

"I wish Ben wouldn't call," Embry said.

"Maybe I should call Ben," Jared added.

"Maybe I should call Ben, and hang up," Embry finished, doing his best to imitate an annoyed and angry Julia.

Julia punched Embry in the chest; certainly a bruise would form later on. I smiled at the scene that was unfolding; it was reminiscent of the time that I had spent with the Quileute kids last winter. A new face appeared before me, one that I would never forget. The large scars that ran from the woman's right eye down to her neck were forever embedded in my mind, a warning of what an angry werewolf was capable of.

Emily hugged me tightly, her hair smelled of fresh fried chicken. "Oh Ben, it is so nice to see you again. I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see Vampire Boy again." Emily's nickname for me was not hostile, just a reference to the person I was dating and her family. Like me Emily didn't understand the prejudice between the vampires and werewolves, both were supernatural creatures, both (well the Cullens) were good, wanting to live peacefully among humans. And both sides had a member that was romantically involved with a human.

"It's good to see you too, Em," I said hugging her back. Over her shoulder I noticed her boyfriend, and leader of the werewolf pack, Sam, staring at us. His face was contorted in rage, and I felt it was best to get as far away from him as possible.

Julia and I were about to head to her house when a girl exited from the wooden cabin. Her hair was pulled back in a tight pony tail, and she wore the same cutoff jeans and tank top as Julia. Everyone seemed to tense up, the light mood vanished as she walked towards us. The girl eyed me suspiciously, and then she spat on the ground. Julia was the first to break the extremely odd silence.

"Ben, this is Leah Clearwater…Sue Clearwater's eldest." I turned to the strange girl, my mouth slightly open.

"Oh, I'm really sorry about your mom, she was a good friend of my mom's. I'm Ben Swan," I said extending my hand. Leah retreated, never taking her eyes off of me.

"I know who you are," she said in a venomous tone. "And if you're here to torment Julia some more—feel free to leave." She ran towards the trees and phased into a gray wolf, slightly smaller than the other wolves.

"Fun—isn't she," Julia whispered in my ear. After goodbyes Julia and I rode to her place, ignoring the light rain that drenched us as we drove through it.

We started walking, too keyed up to sit still in the house. Julia was practically bouncing as she walked. As we walked, I felt myself settling into another version of myself, the self that I had been with Julia last winter. A little younger, a little less responsible. Someone who might, on occasion, do something really stupid for no good reason.

Our exuberance lasted through the first few topics of conversation: how we were doing, what we were up to lately, when graduation was, and small things like that. But then, as we ambled past the back of the garage, we talked about the reason behind our long separation, and I watched as the face of my friend hardened into the bitter mask that was already too familiar.

"So what's the story, anyway?" Julia asked me, kicking a stone with way too much force. The stone sailed over ground and hit the base of a tree with a hard 'thud'. "I mean, since the last time we…well, before, you know…" She struggled for the last words. She took a deep breath and tried again. "What I'm asking is…everything is just back to the way it was before _she_ left? You forgave her for all of that?"

I took a deep breath. "There was nothing to forgive." I wanted so desperately to skip this part, the betrayals, the accusations, but I knew that we had to talk it through before we'd be able to move on to anything else. Julia's face puckered up like she's just licked a lemon.

"I wish Sam had taken a picture back when he found you in those woods last September. It would be exhibit A."

"No one's on trial."

"Maybe someone should be."

"Not even you would blame her for leaving, if you knew the reason why."

She glared at me for a few seconds. "Okay," she challenged acidly. "Amaze me."

Her hostility was wearing on me—chafing against the raw; it hurt to have her angry with me. It reminded me of that bleak afternoon, not that long ago, when—under orders from Sam—she'd told me that we couldn't be friends. I took me a few seconds to compose myself.

"Eliza left me last fall because she didn't think I should be hanging out with vampires. She thought that it would be healthier for me if she left."

Julia did a double take. She had to scramble for a minute. Whatever she'd been planning on saying no longer applied. I was glad that she didn't know the catalyst behind Eliza's decision. I could only imagine what Julia would think, had she known that Jasper had tried to kill me.

"She came back, though, didn't she?" Julia muttered. "Too bad she can't stick to a decision."

"If you remember, _I_ went and got _her_."

Julia stared at me for a moment, and then she backed off. Her face relaxed, and her voice was calmer when she spoke.

"That's true. So I never did get the story, what happened?"

I hesitated, biting my lips.

"Is it a secret," she asked taunting. "Are you not allowed to tell me?"

"No," I snapped. "It's just a really long story."

Julia smiled, arrogant and turned to walk further along her property, expecting me to follow. It was no fun being around Julia when she acted like this. I trailed along automatically, deciding whether or not to turn around a leave. I was going to have to face Eliza, though, when I got home, and decided that I wasn't in that much of a hurry. Julia walked to a large oak tree, and sat down beside a large root, and patted the space between her.

"I don't mind long stories. Is there any action?"

I rolled my eyes as I sat next to her. "There is some action," I allowed.

"It wouldn't be a horror story without action."

"Horror!" I scoffed. "Can you listen, or will you be interrupting me with rude comments about my friends?" She pretended to zip and lock her lips, throwing the invisible key behind her shoulder. I tried not to laugh, and failed.

"I'll have to start with the stuff that you were already there for." I decided, working to organize the stories in my head before I began. Julia raised her hand.

"Go ahead."

"That's good," she said. "I didn't understand much of what was going on anyway."

"Yeah, well it gets a little complicated, so pay attention. You know how Alice _sees _thing?"

I looked at her scowl—the wolves weren't thrilled that the legends of vampires possessing supernatural gifts were true—for a yes, and proceeded with the account of my race through Italy to rescue Eliza.

I kept it as succinct as possible—leaving out anything that wasn't essential. I tried to read Julia's reactions, but her face was enigmatic as I explained how Alice had seen Eliza plan to kill herself when she thought that I was dead. Sometimes Julia looked so deep in thought I wasn't sure that she was listening. She only interrupted me once.

"The fortune-telling bloodsucker can't see us?" she echoed, her face both fierce and gleeful. "Seriously? That's excellent!"

I clenched my teeth together, and we sat in silence, her face expectant as she waited for me to continue. I glared at her until she realized her mistake.

"Opps!" she said. "Sorry." She locked her lips again. Her response was easier to read when I got to the part about the Volturi. Her teeth clenched together, goosebumps rose on her arms, and her nostrils flared. I didn't go into details. I just told her that Eliza had talked us out of trouble. I also neglected to mention the promise that we'd made to them, and the impending visit that we all awaited, Julia didn't need to have my nightmares.

"Now you know the whole story," I concluded. "So now it's your turn to talk. What happened last weekend while I was visiting my dad?" I knew Julia would give me more details than Eliza would. She wasn't afraid of scaring me.

Julia leaned forward, instantly animated. "So Embry and Quil and I were running patrol on Saturday night, just routine stuff, when out of nowhere—BAM!" She threw her arms out, impersonating an explosion. "There it was—a fresh trail, not ten minutes old. Sam wanted us to wait for him, but I didn't know that you were gone, and I didn't know if those bloodsuckers of yours were keeping an eye on you or not. So we took off after her full speed, but she'd crossed the treaty line before we caught up to her. We spread along the line, hoping she'd cross back over. It was frustrating, let me tell you." She wagged her head and hair that flopped into her eyes. "We ended up too far south. The Cullens chased her back to our side just a mile north of us. Would have been the perfect ambush if we'd known where to wait." She shook her head, grimacing now. "That's when it got dicey. Same and the others caught up to her before we did, but she did this dancing right along the line, and the whole coven was right there on the other side. The big one, what's his name—"

"Emmett."

"Yah, him. He made a lunge for her, but that redhead is fast! He flew right behind her and almost rammed into Paul. So, Paul…well you know Paul."

"Unfortunately." I said with a smirk, which coast me a dirty look from Julia.

"Lost his focus. Can't same I blame him—the big one was right on top of him. He sprang—hey don't give me that look. The vampires were on our land."

I tried to compose my face so that she would go on with the story.

"Anyway, Paul missed, and the big one got back on his side. But by then the, er, well the, uh, blonde…" Julia's expression was a comical mix of disgust and unwillingness to describe Eliza's fun-loving sister.

"Rosalie."

"Whatever. She got real irritated, territorial, so Sam and I fell back to get Paul's flank. Then their leader and the other blond male—"

"Esme and Jasper."

She gave me an exasperated look. "You know I don't give a damn. Anyway, so _Esme _spoke to Sam, trying to calm things down. Then it was weird, because everyone got really calm really fast. It was that other one you told me about, messing with our heads. But even though we knew what he was doing, we couldn't _not _be calm."

"Yah, I know how that feels."

"It's really annoying, that's how it feels. Only you can't be mad about it until later—So Sam and the head vamp agreed that Victoria was the priority, and we started after her again. Esme gave us the line, so that we could follow the scent properly, but then she hit the cliffs just north of Makah country, right where the line hugs the coast for a few miles. She took off in the water again. The blonde female, Rosalie, and the calm one wanted permission to cross the line to go after her, but of course we said no."

"Good. I mean, don't get me wrong, you all were being assholes, but I'm glade. Rosalie is never cautious enough." Julia rolled her eyes, and picked up a rock. With a casual flick, she sent it flying a good hundred meters out into the dense forest.

"Well—she'll be back, I guess. We'll get another shot at her."

I shuddered; of course she'd be back. Would Eliza really tell me the next time? Would I even be human when that happened?

"What are you thinking about?" I asked her as she looked up at the sky.

"I'm thinking about what you told me. About when the fortune-teller saw you cliff jumping and thought you'd committed suicide, and how it all got out of control…Do you realize that if you had just called me to go with you, then the bl—Alice wouldn't have been able to see you jump? Nothing would have changed. We'd probably be in the garage right now, drinking blue raspberry ices. There would be no vampires in Forks, and you and me…" She trailed off, deep in thought.

It was disconcerting the way she said this, like it would have been a good thing to have no vampires in Forks.

"Eliza was coming back anyway."

"Are you sure about that?" she asked, belligerent again as soon as I said Eliza's name.

"Being apart…It didn't work out so well for either of us."

She started to say something, something angry from her expression, but she stopped herself. She took a breath, and began to speak again.

"Did you know Sam is mad at you?"

"Me?" It took me a second. "Oh, I see. He thinks they would have stayed away if I wasn't here."

"No. That's not it."

"What's his problem then?"

Julia scooped up another rock. She turned it over and over in her fingers; her eyes were riveted on the black stone while she spoke in a low voice.

"When Sam saw…how you were in the beginning—he thought you were the one person in the world with as much as a reason to hate the Cullens as he does. Sam feels sort of…betrayed that you could just let them back into your life like they never hurt you."

I didn't believe for a second that Sam was the only one who felt that way. The acid in my voice was for both him and Julia.

"Well you can tell Sam he can go straight to Hell. And that maybe he should take a closer look in the mirror before he goes and makes judgments—or maybe Emily's reflection would be more suitable. **_After all she let him back into her life after he disfigured her!_**"

Julia looked at me with wide fish eyes. For the first time she was speechless. I got up and started to walk away.

"Look at that," Julia said pointing to an eagle in the act of plummeting down toward the ocean from an incredible height. It checked itself at the last minute, only for its talons breaking the surface of the waves, just for an instant. Then it flapped away, its wings straining against the load of the heavy fish it had snagged.

"You see it everywhere," Julia said, her voice suddenly distant. "Nature taking its course—hunter and prey, the endless cycle of life and death."

I didn't understand the point in the nature lecture; I guessed that she was trying to change the subject, to keep me from leaving. But then she looked up at me with dark humor in her eyes. "And yet, you never see the fish trying to plant a kiss on the eagle." She grinned a mocking grin.

I grinned back lightly, though the acid taste was still in my mouth. "Maybe the fish was trying," I suggested. "It's hard to tell what a fish is thinking. Eagles are good looking birds you know."

"So is that what it comes down to?" Her voice now had the same acid I had in mine. "Good look?"

"Don't be stupid, Julia."

"Is it the money, then?" she persisted.

"That's real nice," I muttered, walking further away. "I'm glad to know that you think so much of me."

"Aw, Ben, don't get mad." She was walking right behind me. "I'm serious. I'm trying to understand here, and I'm coming up blank."

"I LOVE HER! Not because she is beautiful and not because she's _rich_!" I spat the word at Julia. "I'd much rather she was neither. It would even out the large gap between us just a little bit—because she's still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person that I'd ever met. Of course I love her, how come that is so hard for you to understand?"

"It's impossible to understand."

"Please enlighten me then, Julia." I let the sarcasm flow thick. "What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? Since apparently I'm doing it wrong."

"I think the best place to start would be to look within your own species. That usually works."

"Well, that just sucks!" I snapped. "I guess I'm stuck with Michelle Newton after all." I could see that those words hurt Julia, and a major part of me was happy about that.

"I'm human," she said looking down at her feet like a small child.

"Not as human as Michelle." I continued ruthlessly. "Do you still think that's the most important action?"

"It's not the same thing." Julia didn't look up from her feet. "I didn't choose this?" I laughed once in disbelief.

"AND YOU THINK ELIZA DID?" I yelled, my voice echoed in the trees. "She didn't know what was happening to her any more than you did. She didn't exactly sign up for this."

"It's not the same," Julia repeated, glowering at me.

"I don't understand why not. You could be a bit more understanding about the Cullens. You have no idea how truly good they are—to the core, Julia."

She frowned more deeply. "They shouldn't exist. I hate them all—all vampires"

"WELL SO YOU'RE GONNA HATE ME, THEN! BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE ONE IN TWO WEEKS!" There was nothing but silence. Then Julia began to shake. Her tan skin turned a deep red.

"What?" she muttered under her breath.

"In two weeks, I'm going to be a vampire, Julia." I said confidently.

"YOU'RE RUSHING INTO IT!"

"I'm not rushing into anything. I've chosen the life I want to live."

Julia walked over to a tree and punched it—a large piece of bark soared off into the distance.

"I'd rather you be…DEAD!" she yelled. My mouth dropped and I felt rage and sorrow consume my mind and heart. I stood there and looked at her—watched the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Ben," she said walking towards me—but I backed away, palms in front of me, defensively.

"I can't believe you just said that to me," I said unbelieving. I looked at Julia one last time, before running off into the forest, off of the reservation.


	6. Chapter 5 Kidnapped

I DIDN'T GET HOME UNTIL LATER THAT AFTERNOON—HAVING TO WALK FROM THE RESERVATION TO MY HOUSE. School was already out when I got home—and to my surprise Charlotte was waiting for me when I entered the room. Her eyes were locked on the newspaper. She sighed heavily as I entered the room.

"You know, Eliza could respect meal times." She said gruffly. I rolled my eyes and put my jacket on the rack.

"I was with Julia," I said, the acid taste still in my mouth. Charlotte heard it too, and put her paper down on the foot rest.

"What happened?"

"Julia was an ass as always—don't ask me to go down to La Push again," I said sternly as I ran up the stairs. I shut my bedroom door carefully before I turned to face my room.

Of course she was there. She stood against the wall across from me, in the shadow beside the open window. Her face was hard and her posture tense. She glared at me wordlessly.

I cringed; she actually looked like a vampire. I waited for the torrent, but it didn't come. She just continued to glare, possibly too angry to speak.

"Hey," I finally said.

Her face could have been carved from stone. I counted to a hundred in my head, but there was no change.

"I'm still alive," I began. A growl rumbled low in her chest, but her expression never changed. "No harm done," I insisted with a shrug. She finally moved. Her eyes closed, and she pinched the bridge of her nose between the fingers of her right hand.

"Ben," she whispered. "Do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would've meant?"

I gasped and her eyes opened. They were cold, hard, and as black as night.

"You can't!" I said too loudly. I worked to modulate the volume of my voice so that Charlotte wouldn't hear, but I wanted to shout the words. "Eliza, they'd use that as an excuse for a fight. They'd love that. You can never break the rules!"

"Maybe they aren't the only ones who enjoy a fight."

"Don't you start," I snapped. "You made the treaty—you stick to it."

"If she'd hurt you—"

"Enough!" I cut her off. "There's nothing to worry about—I don't see myself going back there anytime soon," I said sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at the pale blue wall. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Eliza begin to soften. Her eyes, though still black, were now concerned rather than angry.

"What happened?" she asked as she sat beside me, wrapping an arm around me.

"I might've let it slip that—that I have two weeks left…until I'm immortal. She…well, she didn't take it too well. I thought she knew. I thought that she'd realize…I didn't think that she'd be that surprised, that angry," I said recalling what Julia had said to me when she found out. _"I'd rather you be dead!"_ The words cut into me, deep, like a sharp butcher knife.

"Ah," Eliza said quietly.

"She said she'd rather see me be dead." My voice broke on the last word.

Eliza was too still for a moment; controlling whatever reaction she didn't want me to see. Then she crushed me gently to her chest. "I'm so sorry."

"I thought you'd be glad," I whispered.

"Glad over something that hurt you?" she murmured into my chest. "I don't think so, Ben." I sighed and relaxed, fitting myself to the stone shape of her. But she was motionless again, tense.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing."

"You can tell me."

She paused for a minute. "It might make you angry."

"I still want to know."

She sighed. "I could quite literally kill her for saying that to you. I _want _to."

I laughed halfheartedly. "I guess it's a good thing you've got so much self-control—I'm sorry I made you anxious." She sighed and relaxed a little.

"Anxious is a bit of an understatement," she muttered. "It was a very long ten hours." I looked down at her face, at her black eyes; I hadn't noticed in the stress of the moment, but they were too dark—darker than night. The rings under them were deep purple.

"You need to hunt," I said to her.

"I'm not leaving you right now," she said placing a hand on the right side of my face. I chuckled a little.

"I am a big boy, Eliza."

"Yes, who likes to play with very bad big dogs, and who has a very bad lady out to get him." I could see her point to a degree—I was danger pron. Eliza laughed and started to pull away. I looked at her, an anxious smile plastered on my face.

"What?" I asked.

"Well…don't be offended, but you smell like a dog," she said smiling my favorite crookedly smile.

Eliza had to leave for the weekend, having to hunt. She went with Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie. They were going to a reservation in Northern California with a sever mountain lion problem. Alice and Emmett were forced to stay behind—they had Ben Duty.

I was leaving work Friday afternoon when I saw Eliza's Volvo pull up. I was surprised when I saw Alice instead of Eliza in the car. The passenger door opened,

"Get in," she said with a smile on her face.

"Hey Alice," I said getting in. "Where's your sister?"

She shrugged. "They all left early—you know how Rosalie is with her mountain lions."

"Oh." I tried to control the disappointment in my voice.

"Yes, so we're having a slumber party!" Alice said with a high pitched squeal. I covered me ears and looked at her.

"Alice, I'm a dude—I don't do slumber parties." Alice rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Fine—we're going to hang out at my rad pad," she said trying to impersonate a male voice—which was impossible due to her high pitched voice.

"You're kidnapping me, aren't you?"

She laughed and nodded. "Till Sunday morning. Esme cleared it with your mother. You're to stay at our house both tonight and tomorrow—and I am to drive you whenever you wish to go—except the reservation."

I groaned loudly. "Is this about Victoria, or Julia and the werewolves?"

"A bit of both—I think. I'm sorry, but those are the orders. She paid me too."

"How?" I hissed through my clenched teeth.

"The Porsche we stole—"

"You stole," I corrected her. She rolled her eyes,

"Fine, the Porsche that _I _stole in Italy."

"Alice, don't you think this is just a little bit too controlling? Just a tiny bit psychotic, even?"

"Nope," she said, popping the "P" at the end.

We got to the house, and I immediately stomped up to Eliza's room where another surprised waited for me.

"What?" I asked aloud—knowing that Alice could hear me.

"Well you didn't think she was going to make you sleep on a couch, did you?" Alice asked from behind me.

The southern wall of glass reflected back the image in front of me, making it look twice as bad. It matched. The coverlet was a dull gold, just a shade lighter than the walls; the frame was black, made of rough iron.

"She got me a bed? She put a bed in her room? Even though she doesn't sleep?" I realized soon that I was talking to myself—Alice had obviously seen my anger and what I was about to do and left. I rummaged through my back pants pocket and found my phone. I scrolled to Eliza's number and pressed "Call". After four rings the call went to her voice mail.

"Eliza Cullen—you are in big trouble you hear me." I said slowly, emphasizing each word. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears, Victoria, Jane and the entire Volturi guard or nothing compared to what is awaiting you when you get home." I pressed the end button and threw the phone onto the bed. I ran through the message I just left Eliza in my head, and laughed at myself. Maybe I did have it in me to be a good husband?

Tired and pissed off, I decided that I'd go to bed. I stripped and got into the bed, which was, much to my dismay, the best bed I'd ever laid on.

There was a light knock on the door.

"I'm going to sleep, Alice." I hissed.

"It's me," Emmett said softly, opening the door enough that I could see his strong, angular face peeking in. "Can we talk?"


	7. Chapter 6 Unhappy Endings

EMMETT HESITATED IN THE DOORWAY, HIS FACE UNSURE.

"Of course,: I replied, my voice slightly higher than normal with surprise. "Come on in."

I sat up, sliding to the very edge of the bed to make room for the largest Cullen. My stomach twisted nervously as the one Cullen who loathed me move silently to sit on the opposite side of the bed. I tried to come up with a conclusion as to why he'd want to talk to me, but my mind came up blank on the point.

"Are you sure you don't mind talking for a few minutes, you look beat."

"No, no I'm fine. We can talk." I wondered if he heard the alarm in my voice as clearly as I could. He laughed lightly, and it was strange, I'd never heard Emmett laugh before.

"She leaves you alone so rarely now," he said. "I figured I'd better make the best of this opportunity."

I gulped—what did he want to say that he couldn't in front of Eliza? My hands twisted and untwisted around the edge of the comforter.

"Please don't think I'm horribly interfering," Emmett said his deep voice gentle and almost pleading. He folded his hands I his lap and looked down at the as he spoke. "I'm sure that I've hurt your feeling enough in the past, and I don't wish to do it again."

"Don't worry about that Emmett. So what do you want to talk about?"

He laughed again, sounding oddly embarrassed. "I'm going to try and tell you why I think you should stay human—why I would stay human if I were you."

"Oh," I said not looking at him.

"Ben, I know you're under the impression that I hate you—and I don't blame you for that. And I don't hate you"

My eyes bulged, and I found that I could say nothing. Emmett smiled at my shock.

"Did Eliza ever tell you what led to this?" he asked, gesturing to his flawless immortal body.

I nodded slowly, suddenly somber. "She said it was close to what happened to be back at Port Angeles, on that no one was there to save you." I shuddered at the memory of being chased by hooded thugs through allies and an empty parking-lot, a large silver gun pointed at my face.

"Is that really what she told you?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, my voice blank with confusion. "Was she lying?"

He looked up at me and smiled; it was a harsh bitter—but still stunning—expression.

"No—but there was more," he said. "Far more."

I waited while he stared out the window. He seemed to be trying to calm himself. "Would you like to hear my story, Ben? It doesn't have a happy ending—but really which of ours does? If we had happy endings, we'd all be under gravestones now."

I nodded, though I was frightened by the edge in his voice.

"I lived in a different world than you do, Ben. My human world was a much simpler place. It was nineteen thirty-three. I was eighteen, and very handsome—my life was perfect." He stared out the window at the silver clouds, his expression far away.

"My parents were thoroughly high class. My father was a manager of a bank, something I realize now that he was very smug about—he saw his prosperity as a reward for talent and hard work, rather than acknowledging the luck involved. I took it all for granted then; in my home, it was as if the Great Depression was only a rumor. Of course I saw poor people, the ones who weren't as lucky as I and my family. My father left me with the impression that they'd brought their troubles on themselves.

"It was my mother's job to keep our house—and myself and my two younger sisters—in spotless order. It was clear that I as both her first priority and her favorite. I didn't fully understand at the time, but I was always vaguely aware that my parents weren't satisfied with what they had, even if it was so much more than most. They wanted more. They had social aspirations—social climbers, I suppose you could call them. They saw so much more potential in it than I did.

"They weren't satisfied, but I was. I was thrilled to be me, to be Emmett Hale. Pleased that women's eyes watched me everywhere I went, from the year I turned twelve. Delighted that my friends sighed with envy when I entered a room. Happy that my mother was proud of me, that my father liked to buy me things.

"I knew what I wanted out of life, and there didn't seem to be any way that I wouldn't get exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be love, to be adored. I wanted to have a huge, extravagant wedding, where people would look on with envy as I danced with whomever I married. I wanted to be the most handsome thing anyone had ever seen. Admiration was like air to me, Ben. I was stupid and shallow, but I was content." He smiled, amused at her own evaluation.

"My parent's influence had been such that I also wanted the material things of life. I wanted a huge house with elegant furnishings that the maid would clean, and a modern kitchen that the cook would cook in. As I said, I was shallow. Young and very, very shallow. And I didn't see any reason why I wouldn't get those things.

"There were few things I wanted that were more meaningful. One thing in particular. My very closest friend was a young man named Vincent. He was married young, just seventeen. He married a woman my parents would never have considered for me—the daughter of a carpenter. A year later he had a daughter, a beautiful little girl with dimples and curly blonde hair. It was the first time that I'd ever felt truly jealous of anyone else in my entire life."

He looked at me with unfathomable eyes. "It was a different time. I was the same age as you, but I was ready for it all. I yearned for my own house, and a wife who would kiss me when I came home from work—and a little baby, just like Vincent. Only I had a very different house in mind…"

It was very hard for me to imagine the world that Emmett had known. His story sounded more like a fairy tale than history to me. With a slight shock, I realized that this was very close to the world that Eliza had lived in when she was human, the world that she had grown up in. I wondered—while Emmett sat silent for a moment—if my world seemed as baffling to her as Emmett's did to me?

Emmett sighed, and when he spoke again her voice was different, wistfulness gone.

"In Rochester, there was one royal family—the Kings, ironically enough. Royce King owned the bank that my father worked at, and nearly every other profitable business in town. That's how his daughter, Emma King"—his mouth twisted around the name, it came out through his teeth—"saw me the first time. She was visiting her brother, Royce King the Second, at the bank. Two days later, my mother conveniently forgot to send my father's lunch to work with him. I remember being confused when she insisted that I wear my best suit, and cologne just to take my father his lunch." He laughed without humor. "I didn't notice Emma watching me particularly. I mean, everyone watched me. But that night the first gift came. Every night of our courtship, she'd buy me a gift. It got to the point where I would give my sisters the stuff that she got me.

"Emma was beautiful, too. She had lighter hair than I did, and violet eyes. She said my eyes reminded her of the waters off of Australia. My parents approved—that's putting it mildly. This was everything they'd dreamed of. And Emma seemed to be everything that I had ever dreamed of. The fairy tale princess coming to make me a prince. Everything I wanted, yet it was still no more than I expected. We were engaged before I'd even known her two months.

"We didn't spend a great deal of time alone with each other. Emma told me that she had many responsibilities, she was one of the few women at the time that had a job, she said at one of her father's businesses, and when we were together, she liked people to look at us, to see her on my arm. I liked that, too. There were lots of parties, dancing, and fancy clothes. When you were close with a King, every door was open for you, every red carpet rolled out to greet you.

"It wasn't a long engagement. Plans went ahead for the most lavish wedding. It was going to be everything I'd ever wanted. I was completely happy. When I went to Vincent's, I no longer felt jealous. I pictured my fair-haired children playing on the huge lawns of the King's estate, and I pitied him."

Emmett broke off suddenly, clenching his teeth together. It pulled me out of his story, and I realized that the horror was not too far off. There would be no happy ending, as he'd promised. I wondered if this was why he had so much more bitterness in him than the rest of them—because he had been within reach of everything that he'd wanted when his human life was cut short.

"I was at Vincent's that night," Emmett whispered. His face as smooth as marble, and as hard. "His little Harmony really was adorable, all smiles and dimples—she was just sitting up on her own. Vincent walked me to the door as I was leaving, his baby in his arms and his wife at his side, her arm around his waist. She kissed him when she thought I wasn't looking. That bothered me. When Emma kissed me, it wasn't quite the same—not so sweet somehow…I shoved the though aside. Emma was my princess and someday I'd be her king."

It was hard to tell in the moonlight, but it looked like his bone white face got paler.

"It was dark in the streets, the lamps were already on. I hadn't realized just how late it was." He continued to whisper almost inaudibly. "It was cold, too. Very cold for late April. The wedding was only a week away, and I was worried about the weather as I hurried home—I can remember it so clearly. I remember ever detail about that night. I clung to it so hard…in the beginning. I thought about nothing else. And so I remember this, when so many other pleasant memories have faded away completely…"

He sighed, and began to whisper again. "Yes, I was worried about the weather…I didn't want to have to move the wedding indoors…

"I was only a block away from my house when I heard them. A cluster of people under a broken streetlamp, laughing too loud. Drunk. I wished I'd taken another route home—and then she called my name.

" 'Emmett,!' she yelled, and the others laughed stupidly. I hadn't realized the drunks were so nicely dressed. It was Emma and her brother's friend, sons and daughters of other very rich men.

" 'Here's my Emmett!' Emma shouted, laughing with them, sounding just as stupid. 'You're late. We're cold, you've kept us waiting so long.'"

"I'd never seen her drink before. Sure a toast, now and then, at a party. She'd told me she didn't like champagne. I hadn't realized that she preferred something much stronger.

"She had a new friend—the friend of a friend, come up from Atlanta.

" 'What did I tell you, Jill,' Emma crowed, grabbing me arm and pulling me closer. 'Isn't he lovelier than all your Georgia peaches?'

"The woman named Jill was very big for a woman, she was at least six-two, maybe bigger. She looked me over like I was a horse that she was about to buy.

" 'It's hard to tell,' she drawled slowly. 'He's all covered up.'

"They laughed, Emma like the rest. Suddenly Jill and Emma ripped my jacket from my shoulders—it had been a gift from Emma—popping the brass buttons off. They scattered all over the street.

" 'Show them what you look like, Em!' She laughed again and then she tore my hat off of my head. She yanked so hard, that she wrenched my hair from the roots, and I cried out in pain. They all seemed to enjoy that—the sound of my pain…."

Emmett looked at me suddenly, as if he'd forgotten I was there. I was sure my face was as white as his. Unless it was green.

"I won't make you listen to the rest," he said quietly. "After they were all done, the men and women—they left me in the street, still laughing as the stumbled away. They left me there, naked, and beaten, bloodied, broken glass bottles scattered around me. They thought I was dead—and believe me I wanted to be. They were teasing Emma that she would have to find a new groom. She laughed and said that she'd have to learn patience first.

"I waited in the road to die. It was cold, though there was so much pain that I was surprised that it bothered me. It started to snow, and I wondered why I wasn't dying. I was impatient for death to come, to end the pain and humiliation. It was taking so long….

"Esme found me then. She'd smelt the blood, and had come to investigate. I remember being vaguely irritated as she worked over me, trying to save my life. I'd never like Nurse Cullen or her husband and his brother—as Eliza pretended to be then. It had upset me that they were all more beautiful than I was, especially that the girls were. But they didn't mingle in society, so I'd only seen them a few times.

"I thought that I'd died when she pulled me from the ground and ran with me—because of the speed—it felt like I was flying. I remember being horrified that the pain didn't stop….

"Then I was in a bright room, and it was warm. I was slipping away, and I was grateful as the pain began to dull. But suddenly I felt something sharp cut into me, my throat, my arms, my ankles. I screamed in shock, thinking that she'd brought me there to hurt me some more. The fire started burning through me, and I didn't care about anything else. I begged her to kill me. When Carlisle and Esme returned home, I begged them to kill me, too. Esme sat with me. She held my hand and said that she was sorry, promising that it would end. She told me everything, and sometimes I listened. She told me what she was, what I was becoming. I didn't believe her. She apologized each time I screamed.

"Eliza wasn't happy. I remember hearing them discuss me. I stopped screaming sometimes. It did no good to scream.

" 'What were you thinking, Esme?' Eliza said. 'Emmett Hale?'" Emmett imitated Eliza's irritated tone to perfection. "I didn't like the way she said my name, like there was something wrong with me.

" 'I couldn't just leave him there to die,' Esme said quietly. 'It was too much—too horrible,'

" 'I know,' Eliza said, and I thought she sounded dismissive. It angered me. I didn't know then that she really could see exactly what Esme had seen.

" 'It was too much—I couldn't leave her," Esme repeated in a whisper.

" 'Of course you couldn't,' Carlisle agreed.

" 'People die all the time,' Eliza reminded her in a hard voice. 'Don't you think he's just a little recognizable, though? The Kings will have to put up a huge search—not that anyone will suspects the fiend,' she growled.

"It pleased me that they seemed to know that Emma, her brother, and their friends were guilty.

"I didn't realize that it was almost over—that I was getting stronger and that was why I was able to concentrate on what they were saying. The pain began to fade from my fingertips.

" 'What are we going to do with him?' Eliza said disgustedly—or that's how it sounded to me, at least.

"Esme sighed. 'That's up to him, of course. He may want to go his own way.'

"I'd believed enough of what she'd told me that her words terrified me. I knew that my life was ended, and there was no going back for me. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone….

"The pain finally ended and they explained to me again what I was. This time I believed. I felt the thirst, my hard skin, I saw my brilliant red eyes.

"Shallow as I was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time. Despite the eyes, I was the most handsome thing I'd ever seen." He laughed at himself for a moment. "It took some time before I began to blame my looks for what had happened to me—for me to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been…well not ugly, but normal, like Vincent. So I could have been married to someone who loved _me_, and have children. That's what I really wanted, all along. And it still doesn't seem like too much to ask for."

He thought for a moment, and I wondered if he'd forgotten my presence again. But then he smiled at me, his expression suddenly triumphant.

"You know, my record is almost as clean as Esme's," he told me. "Better than Carlisle's. A thousand times better than Eliza's. I've never tasted human blood," he announced proudly.

He understood my puzzled expression as I wondered why his record was _almost _as clean.

"I did murder nine humans," he told me in a complacent tone. "If you really can call them _humans_. But I was very careful not to spill their blood—I knew I wouldn't be able to resist that, and I didn't want any part of them in me, again.

"I saved Emma for last. I hoped that she would hear of her brother and friend's deaths and understand, know what was coming for her. I hoped that fear would make the end worse for her. I think it worked. She was hiding inside a windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank vault, guarded by armed men, when I caught up to her. Oops—twelve murders," he corrected himself. "I forgot about the guards—they only took a second."

"I was a bit theatrical back then. It was kind of childish, really. I wore the suit I was supposed to wear for the wedding. She screamed when she saw me. She screamed a lot that night. Saving her for last was a good idea—it made it easier for me to control myself, to make it slower—"

He broke off suddenly, and he glanced at me.

"I'm sorry," he said in a chagrined voice. "I'm frightening you, aren't I?"

"I'm fine," I lied.

"I got carried away."

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm surprised Eliza didn't tell you more about it."

"She doesn't like to tell other people about other's stories—she feels that it's like betraying confidences, because she hears so much more than just the parts they mean for her to hear."

He smiled and shook his head. "I probably ought to give her more credit. She's really quite decent, isn't she?"

"I think so."

"I can tell." Then he sighed. "I haven't been fair to you, either, Ben. Did she tell you why? Or was that too confidential?

"She said it was because I was human. She said it was harder for you to have someone on the outside know."

Emmett began to laugh; his husky voice shook the bed frame. "Now I really feel guilty. She's been much, much kinder to me than I deserve." He seemed warmer as he laughed, like he'd let down some guard. "What a liar that girl is." He laughed again.

"She was lying?" I asked, suddenly wary.

"Well that's probably putting it too strongly. She didn't tell you the whole story. What she told you was partially true…" He broke off, chuckling nervously. "This is actually embarrassing. You see, at first, I was mostly jealous because she wanted you and not me."

His words sent a thrill of fear through me. Sitting there in the silver light, he was better looking than me. I could not compete with Emmett.

"But you love Rosalie…," I mumbled.

He shook his head back and forth, amused. "I don't want Eliza that way, Ben. I never did—I love her as a sister, but she's irritated me from the first moment I heard her speak. You have to understand though…I was so used to people wanting me. And Eliza never showed the least bit interest in me. But she never wanted anyone. Not even when we meet Tyler and his coven, and she was surrounded by all those males. Eliza never showed any preferences—until she meets you." He looked at me with confused eyes. I was only paying half attention. I was thinking about Eliza and Tyler and _all those males_, and my lips pressed together in a hard line.

"Not that you aren't handsome, Ben," he said, misreading my expression. "But it just meant that she found you more attractive than me. And I'm vain enough to let it bother me."

"But you said 'at first.' That doesn't still…bother you, does it? I mean, we both know you're way more appealing than me." I laughed at having to say those words—it seemed so obvious. How odd Emmett need to be reminded.

Emmett laughed, too. "Thanks, Ben. And no, it doesn't really bother me anymore. Eliza has always been a little strange." He laughed again.

"But…you still don't like me," I whispered.

His smile faded. "I'm sorry about that."

We sat in silence for a moment, and he didn't seem inclined to go on.

"Would you tell me why? Did I do something…?" Was he angry that I'd put his family—his Rosalie—in danger? Time and time again. First with James, and the Volturi, the wolves and now Victoria…

"No, you haven't done anything," he murmured. "Not yet."

I stared at him perplexed.

"Don't you see, Ben? I envy you." His voice was suddenly more passionate than before, even when he told me his unhappy story. "You already have everything—you have a whole life ahead of you—everything that I want. And you're just going to throw it away. Can't you see that I'd trade places with you—I'd give up everything I have. You have a choice, and you're choosing wrong."

I flinched back from her fierce expression. I realized that my mouth had opened and had fallen open, and I snapped it shut.

He stared at me for a long moment, and slowly, the fervor in her eyes dimmed. Abruptly, he was abashed.

"And I was so sure I could do this calmly." He shook his head, seeming a little dazed by the flood of emotion. "It's just harder now than it was then, when it was no more than vanity"

"Would you like me better if I stayed human?"

He turned back to me, his lips turning into a smile. "Maybe."

"But you did get your happy ending, though," I reminded him. "You got Rosalie."

"I got half." He grinned. "You know that I saved her from a bear that was mauling her, and carried her home to Esme—you see with her long blonde curls…the dimples that showed even while she was grimacing in pain…she reminded me of Vincent's little Harmony. I didn't want her to die—so much even, that though I despise this life, I was selfish enough to ask Esme to change her for me.

"I got luckier than I deserved. Rosalie is everything that I wanted. She is exactly the kind of person someone like me needs…but there will never be more than the two of us. No children, I'll never sit on a porch somewhere, with her gray-haired by my side, surrounded by our grandchildren."

His smile was kinder now. "That sounds quite bizarre to you, doesn't it? In some ways, you are much more mature than I was at eighteen. But in other ways…there are many things you've probably never thought about seriously. You're too young to know what you'll want in ten years, fifteen year—and far too young to give it up without thinking it through. You don't want to be rash about permanent things, Ben." He patted my head, in a comforting way. "Just think about it a little. Once it's done, it can't be undone. Carlisle and Esme make do with us as substitutes…and Alice doesn't remember anything about her human life, so she can't miss it…you will remember, though. It's a lot to give up."

_But more to get in return_, I thought, but didn't say aloud. "Thank you, Emmett. It's nice to understand…to know you better."

"I do apologize for being such a monster." He smiled and got off the bed. "I'll try to behave myself from now on."

I smiled back at him. We weren't friends yet, but I was pretty sure that he wouldn't hate me so much.

"I'll let you sleep now." Emmett's eyes looked along the large bed. "Don't be too hard on her—I know you're frustrated about her locking you up, but it's only because she is that worried about you. She loves you, far more than you know. Goodnight Ben." He walked out of the room, and closed the door.

"Goodnight Emmett," I said a moment too late.


	8. Chapter 7 Intruder

**AFTER THE TWO DAYS AT THE CULLEN MANOR ALICE DROPPED ME OFF AT MY HOUSE. **It wouldn't be long until Eliza returned, so she felt that it was safe to send me home.

Charlotte peeked through the front window when she heard the car door. She waved to Alice (my mom loved Alice—it was hard not to).

"Did you have fun?" Charlotte asked as she opened the door for me.

"Sure—sure, very fun." I said forcing a smile. I walked towards the kitchen, hoping to find a snack.

"You have a message," Charlotte called after me. I looked, and on the kitchen counter, the pad of paper kept by the phone was propped up conspicuously.

_Julia called_, Charlotte had written on it.

She said she didn't mean it, and that she's sorry. She wants you to call her. Be nice and give her a break. She sounded upset.

I grimaced. Charlotte didn't usually editorialize on my messages. Julia could go ahead and be upset. I didn't want to talk to her. Last I'd heard, they weren't big on allowing phone calls on the other side. If Julia preferred me dead, then she'd better get used to the silence.

My appetite evaporated. I turned an about face and went to throw away the message.

"Aren't you going to call Julia?" Charlotte asked. She was leaning around the living room wall, watching me throw away the message.

"No."

I started up the stairs.

"That's not very attractive behavior, Ben," she said. "Forgiveness is divine."

"Mind your own damn business," I muttered under my breath, much too low for her to hear.

I knew that the laundry was building up, so after I put my things away, I went to strip my bed. I paused beside the bed, cocking my head to the side. Where was my pillow? I turned in circle, scanning the room. No pillow. I noticed that my room looked oddly tidy. Hadn't my gray sweatpants been draped over the footboard? And I could've sworn that I had a pair of socks behind the desk chair, along with a blue long-sleeved shirt that I'd taken off when Eliza snuck in last…

I spun around again, my hamper wasn't empty, but it wasn't overflowing like it had been. Did Charlotte do laundry while I was being held hostage?

"Mom, did you start a load of laundry while I was gone?" I shouted from my door.

"Um, no," she shouted back, sounding guilty. "Was I supposed to?"

"No, I got it. Were you looking for something in my room?"

"No. I don't go in your room…don't know what I'll find."

"MOM!" I said a little too loud.And then I remembered that Alice had come over to pick up a few of my belongings for while I was staying at her place. She must have been nice enough to do some cleaning. But that blue shirt hadn't been dirty, so I went to save it from the hamper.

I expected to find it near the top, but it wasn't there. I dug through the whole pile and still I couldn't find it. I knew that I was probably being paranoid, but it seemed like something else was missing or maybe more than one something. I didn't even have half a load in my hamper. I ripped the sheets off of my bed for the laundry, grabbing Charlotte's on the way. The washing machine was empty. I checked the dryer too, half-expecting to find a washed load waiting for me, courtesy of Alice. Nothing. I frowned mystified.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Charlotte asked.

"Not yet."

I went back upstairs and searched under my bed. Nothing there either. I started to dig through my dresser, thinking I might have put it away without remembering. I gave up all attempts of searching for it though when I heard the doorbell ring. That would be Eliza.

"Door," Charlotte informed me from the couch as I walked past her.

"Don't strain yourself, Mom." I pulled the door open with a wide smile on my face. Eliza's golden eyes were wide, her nostrils flared, her lips pulled back, tight, over her teeth.

"Eliza?" My voice was sharp with shock as I read her expression. "What—?"

She put a finger over my lips. "Give me two seconds," she whispered. "Don't move." I stood frozen on the doorstep and she…disappeared. She moved so quickly that Charlotte wouldn't have even seen her pass. Before I could compose myself to count to two, she was back. She put an arm around my waist and pulled me swiftly towards the kitchen. Her eyes darted around the room, and she held me against her body as if she were a shield.

"Someone's been here," she murmured in my ear after she pulled me to the back of the kitchen.

"I swear—no werewolves—" I started to say.

"No, not one of them," she interrupted me quickly. "One of us." Her tone made it clear that she didn't mean it to be a member of her family. I felt the blood empty from my face.

"Victoria?" I chocked.

"It's not a scent that I recognize."

"One of the Volturi," I guessed.

"Probably."

"When?"

"That's why I think it must be one of them—it wasn't that long ago, early this morning while your mother was still sleeping. And whoever it was didn't touch her, so there must have been another purpose."

"Looking for me?"

She didn't answer. Her body was frozen, a statue.

"We need to leave—now!" She said pulling me towards the door.

"But Charlotte…" I felt sick—a vampire, who was no friend of mine, had been inside my house, and whiles my mother was there. Eliza pulled her phone from her jacket pocket and scrolled down to a number.

"Rosalie," she muttered into the receiver. She began talking so fast that I didn't understand the words. It had been over half a minute when she started pulling me towards the door. "Rosalie and Jasper are on their way," she whispered when she felt my resistance. "They'll sweep the woods. Charlotte will be fine."

I let her drag me along them, out of the house and into her car.

"Where are we going?" I asked, whispering, not having been able to stop since Eliza and I had made the discovery.

"We're going to talk to Alice," she told me, her volume normal, but still bleak.

"You think she saw something?"

She stared at the road through narrow eyes. "Maybe."

They were waiting for us, on alert after Eliza's call. It was like walking into a museum, everyone still as statues in various poses of stress.

"What happened?" Eliza demanded as so as we were through the door. I was shocked to see that she was glowering at Alice, her hands fisted in anger.

Alice stood with her arms folded tight across her chest. Only her lips moved. "I have no idea. I didn't see anything."

"How is that _possible_?" she hissed.

"Eliza," I said, a quiet reproof. I didn't like her talking to Alice the way she was. Esme interrupted in a calming voice. "Eliza, it's not an exact science."

"He was in his _room_, Alice. He could've been still been there—waiting for him."

"I would've seen that."

Eliza threw her hands up in exasperation. "Really? Are you sure?"

Alice's voice was cold when she answered. "You already have me watching the Volturis' decisions, watching for Victoria, watching Ben's every step. You want to add another? Do I have to watch Charlotte? Or the entire house, the whole street, too? Eliza, if I try to do anymore things are going to start to slip through the cracks."

"It looks like they already are," Eliza snapped.

"He was never in any danger. There was nothing to see."

"If you're watching Italy, why didn't you see them send—"

"I don't think it was them," Alice insisted. "I would've seen that."

"Who else would leave Charlotte alive?" I shuddered when she said that.

"I don't know," Alice admitted.

"Helpful."

"Stop that, Eliza," I whispered.

She turned to me, her face still livid, her teeth clenched together. She glared at me for half a second, and then, suddenly, she exhaled. Her eyes widened and her jaw relaxed.

"You're right, Ben, I'm sorry." She looked at Alice. "Forgive me, Alice. I shouldn't be taking this out on you. That was inexcusable."

"I understand," Alice assured her. "I'm not happy about this, either."

Eliza took a deep breath. "Okay, let's think about this logically. What are the possibilities?"

Everyone seemed to thaw out that at once. Alice relaxed and leaned against the back of couch. Esme walked slowly toward her, her eyes far away. Carlisle sat on the sofa in front of Alice. Only Emmett remained unmoving, his back to us, staring out the glass wall.

Eliza pulled me to the sofa and so we sat next to Carlisle.

"Victoria?" Esme asked.

Eliza shook her head. "No, I didn't know the scent. He might have been from the Volturi, someone I've never met…"

Alice shook her head. "Aro hasn't asked anyone to look for him yet, I _will _see that. I'm waiting for that!"

Eliza's head snapped up. "You're watching for an official command?"

"You think someone's acting on their own? Why?"

"Caius's idea," Eliza suggested, her face tightening again.

"Or Jane's…," Alice said. "They both have the resources to send an unfamiliar face…." Eliza looked at me, her eyes widened in worried. "And the motivation."

"But why would they come and just leave?" Carlisle asked.

"To see if I was still human—my scent proves that I am. They may come and…." I trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence.

"That's possible," Esme said casting her gaze on me and Eliza.

Emmett's breath came out as a sigh, and he moved away from the wall of glass. Rosalie and Jasper burst through the kitchen door, anger and frustration plastered on their faces.

"Long gone, hours gone," Rosalie said, disappointed. "His trail went West, then East, and then disappeared. Whoever it was, they had a car waiting."

"That's bad luck," Eliza muttered. "If he'd gone north…well, it would've been nice for those dogs to make themselves useful."

Jasper, ignoring the snide comment turned to Esme. "Neither of us recognized the scent—maybe this is just a coincidence."

"No," Alice said very sure. "The timing was too perfect…This visitor was so careful to make contact. Almost like he or she knew that I would see…"

They all discussed the intruder…while I sat in silence and in horror. Someone, and we were all sure that someone was malevolent, had broken into my home. And whether they were from the Volturi or not, I didn't care, what I did care about though was that my mother could've been murdered. I had become a danger, and I saw no way to resolve the danger other than changing to a vampire….

"No, absolutely not!" Eliza said firmly as she drove me home.

"Why not?" I demanded.

"First off think of your mother."

"I am thinking of my mother! She could've died because of me. The sooner I'm a vampire, the sooner everyone is safe."

"You don't have to worry about you or your mother's safety. We've assigned a protective detail assigned for you. Someone will be watching your house at all times."

"That's ridiculous, you and your family can't watch me, my mom, prepare for Victoria, the Volturi and keep yourselves fed it's not possible, even with seven vampires."

Eliza's strained smile indicated that she knew something that I didn't.

"What?'

"It won't be just the us…I took the liberty of calling—_her_. She and her pack of dogs will take shifts watching you. Julia is at the house right now."

I'm sure my amazed face was both humorous and slightly disturbing.

"You called….Julia….and she agreed with you?" I said slowly, trying to comprehend myself what had happened.

Eliza chuckled. "Don't get your hopes up, Love. We're not friends. We just want to protect you—and now with seven vampires seven werewolves we can." I was still shocked that they had even talked. Eliza wanted to kill Julia a few days ago, and I hadn't even forgiven her completely. Julia was waiting for us when we got to my house.

"Geez Ben, how do you live in that house with all that vampire stank!"

"You're on thin ice already Julia, I haven't completely forgiven you for saying you'd rather see me dead, so don't go and insult my girlfriend."

"Chill Ben! I was talking about the leech who broke in."

"Sure you were." I said half smiling. There was an awkward silence for a moment, the three of us just standing in the yard.

"So—Julia. I appreciate you and your pack helping us out with this." Eliza said doing her best to be hospitable.

"We're not doing it for you, we just like killing bloodsuckers." I was disappointed at Julia, but not shocked, she could never simply be nice to Eliza.

"We still appreciate it—feel free to leave now. I'd like to spend some time with my boyfriend." Eliza said too smugly. Julia's smile faded and she took two large steps toward Eliza. Wanting to avoid them fighting I got in between them.

"Okay you two, I'm done with this. With this incisive, childish fighting! I've been patient—but I've had it. I'm done being caught in-between you two. From now on I'm Switzerland! I'm neutral!" I said firmly. Both of them looked a little ashamed—like children who were being disciplined. I knew this alliance between the Cullens and the wolves would be hard—but I hoped that they would somehow make it work.


	9. Chapter 8 Legends

**IT WAS ALL VERY CHILDISH, REALLY, WHY ELIZA AND JULIA HAD TO ACT THE WAY THEY DID WAS BEYOND ME. **Eliza was dropping me off near the line that divided the two sides. It had taken a lot to convince her to let me go see my friend, I had to promise to text her once every thirty minutes to make sure that I was alright.

"It's not that I feel any personal antagonism towards her, Ben, it's just easier for us to operate this way," Eliza said going back to the conversation that we had earlier. I rolled me eyes, still thinking that it was very childish and stupid.

A few minutes later we were at the line. Julia was waiting by her motorcycle, when Eliza stopped the car.

"Hey, Handsome," she said, hugging me as I got out of the passenger side. A low growl escaped from Eliza's throat, and I gave them both a warning glance. "We better get going," Julia said while she walked towards her red bike. I sighed and turned to look at Eliza.

"I'll be fine," I told her.

She sighed and casted her gaze towards Julia. "Keep him safe, pup." Julia snickered and grabbed something from a bag that hung from the handle. She threw me a black and red leather jacket.

"For you, Ben. I thought you might like it for ridding," she told me. I examined the jacket and threw it on.

"Thanks," I murmured before turning to face Eliza again. Her eyes were slightly widened and she had an odd smile on her face.

"What?" I asked her. She walked over to me, and pressed her body to mine.

"You look very sexy in that jacket," she said slowly, putting an emphasizes on each word. I laughed and pulled her closer.

"I know that's a lie…but thanks." Eliza raised her brow and pulled me into a kiss, a deep kiss. My head was spinning like it always did when she kissed me. When she finally pulled away I had to take heavy breaths. "I guess I'll be keeping the jacket," I whispered in her ear. She smiled and placed a light kiss on my lips.

"Love you," she said, then turned on her heel and walked to her car.

"Love you too," I shouted back at her.

After I watched Eliza's car vanish behind the bend in the street I turned back to Julia, who had started to pretend to vomit.

"Grow up," I said while getting on the bike. She sat behind me, and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Are you going to eat that hot dog?" Paul asked Julia, his eyes locked on the last remnant of the large meal that the werewolves had just devoured. Julia leaned back against my knees and toyed with the hot dog she had spitted on a sharpened stick; the flames at the edge of the bonfire licked along its blistered skin. She heaved a heavy sigh and patted her stomach. It was somehow still flat, though I didn't know how, not after all the hot dogs she'd ate.

"I guess," Julia said slowly. "I'm so full I'm about to puke, but I think I can force this last one down. I won't enjoy it at all though." She sighed again sadly. Despite the fact that Paul had eaten at least as much as Julia, he glowered and his hands balled up into fists.

"Sheesh." Julia laughed. "Kidding, Paul. Here." She flipped the homemade skewer across the circle. I had expected it to land hot-dog first, but Paul caught it.

"Thanks, dude," Paul said, already over his brief fit of temper.

The fire crackled, setting lower toward the sand. Sparks blew up in a sudden puff of brilliant orange against the black sky. Funny, I hadn't noticed that the sun set. For the first time, I wondered how late it was.

I sat there, Julia leaning on my knees, the newest member, Seth, who was Leah's fifteen year old brother sitting next to me. Paul, Jared and Quil sat on the sand, Embry, Emily and Sam sat by the elders, Billie, Old Quil, and Harry Clearwater, the widower of Sue. I wondered how horrible it was for Leah to sit across the circle from Sam and Emily. Her lovely face betrayed no emotion, but she never did look away from the flames.

I'd learned that Leah and Sam once dated; Leah was completely in love with him. They broke up after Sam transformed into a werewolf and imprinted on Emily, who happened to be Leah's cousin and once best friend. It was like a soap-opera, and I felt incredibly bad for Leah. Now that she was a wolf, she felt and saw just how much Sam cared for Emily, and I knew that it killed her each time she had to look at them.

"The Quileute's have been a small people from the beginning," Billie said. Everyone stopped talking amongst themselves, and turned to look at Julia's mother. "And we are still a small people, but yet here we are. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting—that came later. First we were sprit warriors."

Never before had I recognized the ring of majesty in Billie Black's voice, but now it rang loud and clear.

"In the beginning, the tribe settled in this harbor and became skilled ship builders and fishermen. But the tribe was small, and the harbor was rich with fish. There were others who coveted our land, and we were too small to hold it. A larger tribe moved against us, and we took our ships to escape them. Somehow, Kaheleha was not the first spirit warrior, but we do not remember the stories that came before. We do not remember or know who was the first to discover this power, but we do know Kaheleha. She was the first great Spirit Chief in our history. In this emergency, Kaheleha used this magic to defend our land.

"She and all her warriors left the ship—not in their bodies, but their spirits. The others stayed behind and watched over the bodies. They could not physically touch the enemy tribe, but they had other ways. The stories tell us that they would blow fierce winds into the enemy's camp; they could make a great screaming that terrified their foes. The stories tell us that the animals could see the spirit warriors and understand them; and the animals would do their bidding.

"Kaheleha took her spirit army and wreaked havoc on the intruders. This invading tribe had packs of big dogs that they used to pull their sleds in the frozen north. The spirit warriors turned the dogs against their owners and then brought a mighty infestation of bats. They used their screaming wind to aid the dogs and bats in terrorizing the intruders. The survivors left, claiming that the harbor was cursed. The dogs ran wild after the spirit warriors released them. The spirit warriors returned to their bodies and the others, victorious.

"Generations passed. Then came the last Great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki, the only male chief ever in our history. He was known for his wholesomeness, his wisdom and for being a man of peace. The people prospered.

"But one man, Utlapa, who was not content, who wished to use the magic to concur other tribes, to build an empire, wanted to over through Taha Aki. Knowing of this plan, Taha Aki and the other warriors banished Utlapa, but Utlapa was a patient man and waited in the forest for his revenge.

"Even in times of peace, the Spirit Chief would venture to a sacred place, leave their body and patrol the area, just to make sure that peace would remain. One day when Taha Aki left to preform this duty, Utlapa followed. Now originally Utlapa only wanted to kill Taha Aki, but this plan had its drawbacks. The spirit warriors would know, and they would make sure Utlapa never returned to the trib.

"Taha, unaware of Utlapa's presence left his body in the secret place and flew with the winds to keep watch over his people. Once Utlapa waited until he was sure that Taha was far enough, he too joined the spirit world. Taha Aki knew instantly of this, and knew of Utlapa's murderous plan. He raced back to his secret place, but even the winds were not fast enough to save him. When he returned, his body was already gone. Utlapa's body lay abandoned, but he had not left Taha with an escape—he had cut his own throat with Taha's hands.

"Taha Aki watched with despair as Utlapa took his place as chief. For a few weeks, Utlapa did nothing but make sure that everyone believed he was Taha Aki. But then—the changes began. Utlapa's first degree was to forbid and warrior to enter the spirit world. He had claimed that he had a vision of danger, but really he was afraid that the people would discover his secret.

"The people suspected that something was wrong with their leader, his violent acts were unlike him. But without venturing into the spirit world, no one could be sure if their suspicions had any truth behind them. Taha Aki grew very sorrowful—his people's suffering was weakening him. One day, while travelling with the winds, Taha Aki stumbled on a large, lone white wolf. He was instantly drawn to the majestic animal—and so he asked if he could reside in the wolf, which the wolf agreed to. Now with a body, Taha Aki traveled to the village where he was meet with weapons, the people in fear of the wolf. Instead of attacking the false chief, Taha Aki began to yelp the songs of the people. The elders knew instantly that it was their proper Chief…and they became angry. Desperation set in, and Utlapa grabbed the medicine man. He warned Taha Aki to leave, that his time as leader was over. When Taha took a step closer to the false chief and his hostage, Utlapa slit the throat of the elderly man.

"Taha Aki's rage…was too strong for the body of the wolf. And in a swift motion, Taha Aki returned to his human form. The tribe all stood in a circle—to prevent Utlapa from escaping, and with his new strength—Taha crashed the spirit out of his old body, and Utlapa's spirit was taken to the worlds beneath the earth…."

I listen so absorbed in the story, that I did not notice that Julia was now sitting next to me, her arms wrapped around my waist.

"Taha Aki took his rightful place as Chief…now able to transform into the large white wolf at will. He passed the trait down to many sons and daughters. Though this new magic gave Taha Aki and his children a gift beyond what any would have previously imagined…it also provided them with a curse. Once the gene took effect…they stopped aging, and they lived on as those they loved died. Many, many years passed and Taha Aki stopped changing so that he could grow with his Third Wife, his perfect soul mate. He trusted that his children could protect the tribe if danger ever showed up…

"Many people began to disappeared from the village. The children of Taha Aki began to patrol every evening in search of the cause, and one night they found it. A strange man, with pale skin the color of snow was hiding in a cave…they only found him because the blood left by his last two victims was fresh enough for them to follow. They attack the man, as cold and hard as stone, he fought with equal force, killing the eldest. Our warrior's sharp teeth were able to rip apart the stranger, and to make sure that he would never return they burned the pieces. Though the man was gone, the entire village lived in fear that the man was not alone. Their fears were justified when the woman showed up one morning.

"She was beautiful—many men bowed to her, believing her to be the sun goddess. For when the sun hit her pale skin, she shinned brightly and brilliantly. Only a small child with the gene was able to tell, her stench burned his nostrils. His screams warned the village, and the woman attack, killing the little boy first. Many of the spirit warriors came once the screams pierced into the calm morning air.

"At first they could not find the woman, only the evidence of her attack. Bodies lay broken, a few drenched of their blood, strewn across the road where she'd appeared. Then they heard the screams and their hurried to the harbor.

"A handful of the Quileutes had run to the ships for refuge. She swarmed after them like a shark, and broke the bow of their boat with her incredible strength. When the ship sank, she caught those who tried to swim away and she broke them, too.

"She saw the great wolves on the shore, and she forgot the fleeing swimmers. She swam so fast she was a blur and came, dripping and glorious, to stand before Taha Aki's favorite son, Yaha Uta. She pointed at him with one white finger and asked another incomprehensible question.

"It was a close fight. She was not the warrior her mate had been. But Yaha Uta was alone, he had sent his sibling away—there was no one to distract her fury from him.

"When Yaha Uta lost, Taha Aki screamed in defiance. Now an old man, he limped forward and shifted into an ancient, gray muzzled wolf. The wolf was old, but this was Taha Aki, and his rage made him strong. The fight began again.

"Taha Aki's third wife had just witnessed her son die before her. Now her husband fought the beast, and she saw no hope that he could win. She watched as her other children shifted into wolves. Her heart sunk with the possibility of watching them die as well.

"The Third Wife had no magical powers, no extraordinary abilities. But she was brave, braver than most. The Third Wife grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the bodies that lay in the sand. The Third Wife ran toward the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted by her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the woman and her knife, a weapon that would not even chip or scratch her stone skin, and she was about to deliver the fatal blow.

"And then the Third Wife did something that the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker's feet and plunged the knife into her own heart.

"Blood spurted through the Third Wife's fingers and onto the ground. The Cold Woman could not resist the urge—and Taha Aki's teeth closed around the Cold Woman's neck. Taha Aki never rejoined the tribe, he never changed back into a man.

"Trouble with Cold One's were rare…only a few came by and they were easily taken care of. After a while children would not change into wolves once they reached adulthood. Not until a large coven came to our lands. Julia's great-grandmother was prepared to attack—but the leader convinced her that she and her _'family'_ meant to harm to the wolves or the people. Their yellow eyes proved that what they said was true, and so a treaty was made.

"They were not to hunt on our lands—or _bite _a human." Billie said that while looking at me. I soon felt everyone's eyes on me, and I felt my face going hot from the blood that flowed to it. An anger rose within me—I'd gone from enjoying myself to wishing I was somewhere else. I nodded my head and got off the log that I'd been sitting on.

"Thank you for having me," I said with false sincerity. "I enjoyed the story…for the most part. But I should be going—Charlotte can only last with T.V. dinners for so long." I turned and began to walk away—pulling my phone out to send a text to Eliza.

**Come and meet me at the line.**

I heard Julia rush over to me; she put a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Ben, you don't have to go—I promise Billie won't tell any more stories." I rolled my eyes.

"It sucks—being constantly told that the people I love are monsters. You know the Cullens don't tell me stories about the hot headed werewolves that like to fight because they're hypocrites. They don't all try to sway me from spending time with you. They don't make me feel bad about myself. I'm done Julia—I'm done with you, and Sam, and now your mother trying to stop me. Except me—and the choice that I made, or forget I exist."

I saw Eliza's car lights through the trees—and I walked forward towards them. Going home. 


	10. Chapter 9 Alice Knows

**I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT, IT WAS HAPPENING, FINALLY THE CHIPS WERE FALLING INTO PLACE, AND YET I HAD NEVER BEEN SO TERRIFIED. **I'd passed all my exams, making A's on all of them, except for Calculus; I got a B on that. Graduation was in a couple of days, and with graduation came the time when I would no longer be mortal—when I'd no longer be human, but a vampire.

There was only a few days left before graduation, and I'd just gotten back from Seattle. My mom wasn't home—working on a missing person's case, someone by the name of Riley Biers.

I could smell her perfume when I entered the house—and the dread that took over me in the begging was replaced with calmness.

"You can come out of hiding, Alice," I called to her annoyed. She was sitting on the couch before I had time to blink, a wide, gleeful smile on her face. For a moment, I pondered on why she was so happy—I didn't think that 'Ben Duty' as they now called it was fun, but then I remembered that Alice saw everything—and she had been watching me constantly. And then the complete and utter horror set in. She knew.

"Oh Ben, don't give yourself a heart attack," she said playfully as she got up from the couch, playfully pushing on my shoulder slightly. Her smile grew wider—if at all possible. I felt my heart beating at an extremely unnatural rate. I would've fallen on the ground in shock had Alice not caught me. "Relax Ben," she said, the smile disappearing slightly, but not completely. "She doesn't know," she said looking up at me, forcing me to look into her eyes, "She doesn't know," she repeated.

My heart began to return to a normal beat—and I started to breathe again. My mind focused on that, on the fact that Eliza was in the dark, but for how long?

"You aren't going to—"

"I would never tell her, Ben," Alice said a little shocked. "And I'll be very careful not to think about_ it_ when she's around." I nodded my head, calming down a bit more. I found myself walking towards the old tan sofa, plopping myself down on the soft sofa cushions. I was trying to regain complete control of my breathing, wanting to keep myself from getting a migraine. Alice laughed and walked over towards the sofa, taking the seat beside me. She placed a cool hand on my knee. "Ben," she said her voice soft and in a whisper. I looked at her, wishing that Jasper was here to help with the nerves. "Can I see it?" she asked, pointing a finger at the front top pocket on my leather jacket. I wanted to tell her no, but I knew that she'd already seen it.

With a shaky hand I pulled the tiny black velvet box that was concealed in my pocket, and handed it over to her. She took it with gentle hands, like she was trying not to break it. She gently lifted the lid up, and her eyes marveled as she stared at the ring inside.

"Ben," she whispered again. "She's…she's gonna love it. I just saw it—the look on her face."

That didn't make me feel better—it only added to the anxiety. I felt my palms sweating and I rubbed them on my jeans. I looked away from Alice, who was still staring at the ring. I walked towards the kitchen and grabbed a Dr. Pepper from the fridge. My hands were still shaking, now that Alice knew—it seemed more real, and that terrified me. I wasn't even sure that I was ready to give it to her—only a small, microscopic part of me wanted to do what that ring would make me do. I felt her presence before she started to talk. "She really will love it, Ben. More so when she knows that you designed it yourself…she was so convinced that you loathed marriage so much that you'd never—" I didn't let Alice finish.

"I don't like the idea, Alice. I hate it—do you know what people will think? Do you know what they'll say about me? About her? The entire situation?" I said before taking a large gulp of the soda. I saw Alice place the box down on the table—and then putting her hands on her hips. I rolled me eyes at her. "Look—I—I know that it sounds stupid, but I wasn't going to be that boy. The small town boy who got married right out of high school—I knew people like that, and I wasn't going to be one. It's not the responsible thing to do—smart, rational people don't do that."

"Smart, rational people don't date vampires and become best friends with werewolves," Alice said with a sly smile. I knew I could argue with that—and it made me more upset. "I honestly don't get what the big deal is about you marrying my sister. I mean you are asking her to make you a vampire—something that she'd rather not do. You two are already going to be together for the rest of forever—so why is marriage such a big deal?"

I sighed, not knowing what to say—Alice had brought up a good point.

"Well…marriage was sort of the kiss of death for my parents, it didn't work out well…and I guess apart of me believes that marriage…I mean it's…it's just a piece of paper for crying out loud."

"Maybe in your time it's 'a piece of paper'," Alice said putting air quotes around 'piece of paper.' "But in Eliza's time—it was a way for two people to show how much they loved each other. And I know apart of you believes that, otherwise you wouldn't have designed and bought Eliza that engagement ring."

I pouted a little. "That doesn't mean I have to like it. Everyone in this town is gonna think I knocked her up."

"So—why do you care what others will think? Don't you love her?"

"Yes I love her."

"And do you want to spend the rest of your life—your eternity with her?"

"Yes," I said a little too loud. Alice sighed and rolled her eyes. I could tell that she was getting upset.

"So when do I start?" she asked smiling now.

"Start what?" I asked confuses.

"Wedding plans—you and Eliza are going to let me plan the wedding, right?"

I laughed lightly. "I haven't even got down on my knee and you want to know about planning the wedding?" I asked amused. Her eyes suddenly bulged out of their sockets, a frown appeared on her face.

"You're…you're not going to let me plan the wedding?" she asked seemingly hurt.

"It's not up to me, Alice. _If _I propose, Eliza will be the bride; she'll make the decisions when it comes to the wedding and who plans it."

Alice's smile returned, and she clapped her hands together and did a little dance. "She's gonna say yes." She said in a high pitched sequel. I covered my ears and moaned. This already was a nightmare—and I wasn't even sure it was gonna happen—not yet at least.

"Okay Ben, Eliza will be here in ten minutes. Go and hid the ring in your underwear drawer—she'll never think to look there if she gets suspicious." Alice rushed me up the stairs, the velvet box in my hand. I did what she said and buried the box under my boxers. I felt so sick about the whole thing—here I was an almost high school graduate hiding an engagement ring in my underwear drawer—this wasn't supposed to happen. I never saw myself doing this. Bu then again I never saw myself dating a vampire.


	11. Chapter 10 Jasper

**TIME CONTINUED TO MOVE TOO FAST. **That night flew by dreamlessly, and then it was morning and graduation was staring me in the face. When I came downstairs for breakfast, Charlotte was already gone. She'd left the newspaper on the kitchen table. I didn't mean to read the paper, but a thick black headline caught my attention. I felt a thrill of fear as I leaned closer to read the front-page story.

**SEATTLE TERRORIZED BY SLAYINGS**

It's been less than a decade since the city of Seattle was the hunting ground of the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history, Gary Ridgeway, aka The Green River Killer, was convicted of the murders of 48 women.

And now a beleaguered Seattle must face the possibility that it could be home to an even more horrifying monster at this very moment.

The police are reluctant to say if the murders that have been committed lately are the work of one individual. This killer—if, in fact, is one person—would be responsible for the murders of 71 innocent lives in the last three months alone. In comparison, Ridgeway's 48-count murder spree was scattered over a 21-year period. If these deaths can be attributed to one man, then this is the most violent rampage in American history.

Unlike most serial killers, like Jack the Ripper and Ted Bundy, this killer doesn't seem to have a specific target. The victims of this supposed killer range from 67-year-old police officer, Steve Smith, to 15-year-old high school student Bree Tanner. The victims are racially divided, supporting that the killings are at random.

More terrifying is the remains of the victims themselves. The bodies are found badly burnt, and are missing limbs, also there is evidence that the victims were tortured prior to the death, as their bones were broken, and their blood drained….

Blood drained...that could mean, but no, it couldn't happen.

"Ben?"

Focused as I was, Eliza's voice, though quiet and not totally expected, made me gasp and whirl. She leaning in the doorway, her eyebrows pulled together. Then suddenly she was at my side, taking my hands.

"Did I startle you? I'm sorry. I did knock…"

"No, no," I said quickly. "Have you seen this?" I pointed to the paper.

A frown creased on her forehead. "I hadn't seen today's news yet. But I knew it was getting worse."

"You knew?" I asked a bit shocked. Eliza looked up into my eyes, and I saw the guilt reflect in her topaz eyes.

"We've been watching the situation for a while now…you'd be surprised how many crimes are committed by my kind. We're sure that it's newborns…"

"Newborns?" I asked surprised—picturing in my mind a baby vampire….

A small laugh escaped from her lips. "That's the reference we use for new vampires—we're going to have to do something and quickly." I didn't like that, not at all. I hated the idea of any of them taking chances—especially when it might involve fighting with 'newborns' who were currently raising hell and havoc in a city that I was in less than twenty-four hours ago.

"What does Alice say?"

"That's the problem." Her frown hardened. "She can't see anything…though we've made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She's starting to lose self-confidence. She feels like she's missing too much these days. She feels that her visions are slipping away."

My eyes were wide. "Can that happen?"

"I doubt it," Eliza said with confidence. "Normally these things progress, as in the case with Aro and Jane.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go…and she doesn't see anything because we won't really go unless she gives us the thumbs up. We might have to go in blind."

I shuddered. "No! No absolutely not!"

"Would you mind going to my house?"

"I think that might be—fun, as long as I'm not being held hostage this time."

She smiled, "No, I want to talk to Jasper about something, this seems to be in his area of expertise."

Jasper? That was odd; generally Eliza kept me away from him. At any rate, I'd never seen Eliza feel dependent on Jasper. I wondered again what she'd meant about Jasper's expertise. I really didn't know much about Jasper or his history, just that he'd come from the south before Alice found him.

When we got to the Cullen manor, we found Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper watching the news intently, though the sound was so low it was all unintelligible to me. Alice was sitting in a chair, not paying any attention to the news, but was focusing on something that I could not see. As we walked in, Rosalie ambled through the kitchen door, seeming perfectly at ease—nothing ever seemed to bother Rosalie.

"Hey Ben," Rosalie said smiling. "Aren't you supposed to be studying for finals?"

"Ben can take a break; he's been working very hard." Eliza said as I found myself unable to address Rosalie, afraid I'd say something to embarrass myself.

Rosalie laughed, "I bet it helps when he has a girlfriend who's able to give him all the answers."

Eliza ignored her and walked over to Esme. "So you've been watching the news."

"Yes, they're considering a serial killer—it won't be long until the Volturi intervene."

"We can't let that happen," Eliza nearly shrieked

"Let's go now! Rosalie said with a sudden enthusiasm. "I'm dead bored."

A low hiss echoed down from the stairway from upstairs.

"He's such a pessimist," Rosalie muttered to herself.

Eliza agreed with Rosalie. "We'll have to go sometime." Emmett appeared at the top of the stairs and descended slowly. His face was smooth, expressionless.

"I disagree" he said walking past Eliza and I, stopping in front of Rosalie. "We're not the Volturi."

"I want the Volturi to have to come here," Eliza said. "It gives us so much less reaction time."

"And all those innocent humans in Seattle," Carlisle murmured. "It's not right to let them die this way."

"I know," Esme sighed.

"Oh," Eliza said sharply, turning her head slightly to look at Jasper. "I didn't think of that. I see. You're right, that has to be it. Well that changes everything."

I wasn't the only one who stared at her in confusion, but I might have been the one who didn't look slightly annoyed.

"I think you better explain to the others," Eliza said to Jasper. "What could be the purpose of this?" Eliza stared to pace, staring at the floor, lost in thought. I hadn't seen her get up, but Alice was there beside me.

"What is she rambling about?" she asked Jasper. "What are you thinking?"

Jasper didn't seem to enjoy the spotlight. He hesitated, reading every face in the room—and his eyes paused on my face.

"You're confused," he said to me, his deep voice very quiet. There was no question in his assumption. Jasper knew what I was feeling—what everyone was feeling.

"We're all confused," Rosalie grumbled.

"You can afford the time to be patient," Jasper told him. "Ben should understand this, too. He is one of us now."

His words took me by surprise. As little as I'd had to do with Jasper, especially since my last birthday when he'd tried to kill me, I hadn't realized that he thought of me in that way.

"How much do you know, Ben? About me?" Jasper asked. Rosalie sighed theatrically, and plopped down on the couch to wait with exaggerated impatience.

"Not much," I admitted.

Jasper stared at Eliza, who looked up to meet his gaze.

"No," Eliza answered his thought. "I'm sure you can understand why I haven't told him that story, but I suppose he needs to hear it now."

Jasper nodded thoroughly, and then started to roll up the arm of his ivory sweater. I watched, curious and confused, trying to figure out what he was doing. He held his wrist under the edge of the lampshade beside him, close to the light of the naked bulb, and traced his finger across a raised crescent mark on the pale skin.

It took me a minute at understand why the shape looked strangely familiar.

"Oh," I breathed as realization hit. "Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine." I held out my hand, the silvery crescent more prominent against my cream skin than against his alabaster.

Jasper smiled faintly. "I have a lot of scars like yours, Ben." Jasper's face was unreadable as he pushed the sleeve of his thin sweater higher up his arm. At first my eyes could not make sense of the texture that was layered thickly across the skin. Curved half-moons scars crisscrossed in feathery pattern that was only visible, white on white as it was, because of the bright glow of the lamb beside him threw the slightly raised design into relief, with shallow shadows outlining the shapes. And then I grasped that the pattern was made of individual crescents like the one that was on his wrist…the one that was on my hand.

I looked back at my own small, solitary scar—and remembered how I'd received it. I stared at the shape of James' teeth, embossed forever on my skin. And then I gasped, staring at him. "Jasper, what _happened_ to you?"

"The same thing that happened to your hand," Jasper answered in a quiet voice. "Repeated a thousand times." He laughed a little ruefully and brushed at his arm. "Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar."

"Why?" I breathed in horror, feeling rude, but finding myself unable to remove my gaze from his ravaged skin.

"I didn't have the same…upbringing as my adopted siblings. My beginning was something else entirely." His voice turned hard as he finished. "Before I tell you my story," Jasper started, "you must understand that there are places in our world, Ben, where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries.

The others had heard this before. Esme and Rosalie turned their attention back to the TV again. Alice moved silently to sit at Carlisle's feet. But Eliza was just absorbed as I was; I could feel her eyes watching my face, reading every flicker of emotion.

"To really understand why, you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to imagine the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy…the perpetually thirsty.

"You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable than others. Places where we can be less restrained, and still avoid detection.

"Picture, for a moment, a map of the western hemisphere. Picture on it every human life as a small red dot. The thicker the red, the more easily we—well, those who exist this way—can feed without attracting attention."

I shuddered at the image in my head, at the word feed. But Jasper wasn't worried about frightening me, not over protective like Eliza always was—like Julia…

"Not that the covens in the South care much about what humans notice or do not. It's the Volturi that keeps them in-check. They are the only ones that the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed.

I frowned at the way he pronounced the name—with respect, almost grateful. The idea that the Volturi as good guys in any sense was hard to accept.

"The North is, by comparison very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here who enjoy the day as well as the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly—anonymity is important to all of us. It's a different world in the South. The immortals there come out only at night—much like the movie monsters that portray us. They send most of the day either planning their next move, or anticipating their enemy's. Because there has been war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans, they seem them as cattle, food for the taking. They only hide away because of their fear for the Volturi."

"But what are they fighting for?" I asked/

Jasper smiled. "Remember that map I told you to visualize?"

I nodded.

"They fight over the thickest dot—the area with the most people. You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let's say Mexico City, well he could feed every night, twice, maybe even three times, and no one would notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the completion.

"Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others. But the most effective tactic was invented by a fairly young vampire named Benito. The first anyone ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north in Dallas and massacred the two small covens that shared the area near Houston. Two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies that claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again, he won."

"How did he win?" I asked with wary curiosity.

"Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first to think of it, and, in the beginning he was unstoppable. Very young vampires, newborns, are very volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control. One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen are a nightmare. They'll turn on each other as easily as the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and the covens he decimated took more than half his force down before they lost.

"You see though newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you're doing. Though stronger in their first year than at any other point of their existence, they are slaves to their thirst. And thus, predictable. Usually they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity. And in this case overwhelming numbers.

"The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own…

"All hell broke loose—and I mean it in a more literal term than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have our own histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be human either."

I shuddered.

"When the body count reached epidemic proportions—in fact, your histories blame a disease for the population slump—the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came together and sought out every newborn in the bottom half of North America. Benito and his army was the first to answer to their crimes…the Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This is a chapter of our history that will forever be embedded in us—though there were few witnesses left—the word spread fast of the Volturi. I spoke once with someone who had witnessed, from afar, exactly what happened to those who were found guilty."

Jasper shuddered. I realized that I had never before seen him either afraid or horrified. This was a first.

"It was enough that the fever for conquest did not spread from the south. The rest of the world stayed sane. We owe the Volturi for our way of life.

"But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South. It didn't take long for the war to start up again—only this time the vampires in the South had learned. So newborns were selected with care, and they were given more training."

"And that's how you were changed," I stated, not asked.

"Yes," he agreed. "When I was human, I lived in Huston, Texas. I was almost seventeen when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied about my age—and due to my height, my superiors bought it.

"My military career was short-lived, but very promising. People always…liked me, listened to what I had to say. My father, he used to say it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But, whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so it provided me with opportunities. I soon became the youngest major in Texas.

"During the first Battle of Galveston I was placed in charge of evacuating the town of the women and children. I was a mile outside of the city when I came across three women. They were, without a question the most beautiful women that I had ever seen.

"They had pale skin, even the girl who had Hispanic features and black hair. They seemed young; all three of them still young enough to be called girls. I knew immediately that they were not from the city, I would've remembered them.

"'He's speechless,' the tallest girl said in a lovely voice—like wind chimes.

"'And an officer,' the other blonde said. 'He's perfect…buy you better do it Maria. Once I start I can never stop.' It was then when I started to question whether or not they were normal women. I'd never believed in ghost or demons, my family chose to believe in God and angles, not evil, but there was something in my mind that told me to run. I didn't listen of course.

"The Hispanic woman, Maria she was clearly the leader of the trio. She was the only one of the three who addressed me directly.

"'What is your name, Soldier?' She asked in an enchanting voice.

"'Major Jasper Whitlock, Ma'am.' I said to her, unable to be rude to her, even if I thought she was a ghost. She approached me, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"'I hope you survive—you may be of great use to me.' Every part of me told me to run away, but I was too enchanted by her beauty. She turned her head to the side, and I thought she was going to kiss me—but she bit my neck."

Jasper trailed off…looking further into space.

"I woke up three days later, inside a barn, somewhere far away. Maria explained to me what she had done, what I had become. Their names were Maria, Nettie and Lucy. They hadn't been together long—their partnership was convenient for them, it made them stronger. Maria wanted revenge, and her territories back. The others just wanted to feed. They were putting together an army, and were being very careful about it. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out humans with potential. Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others. My ability to manipulate other's emotions proved quite useful.

"Maria grew quite found of me—she began to depend upon me. And, in some ways, I worshipped the ground that she walked on. She was manipulative and I was young and foolish, and I believed her.

"She asked me to tell her when my comrades and I were ready to fight, and being eager to prove myself, I was able to provide her with an army of twenty-three unbelievably strong soldiers. We were able to take any cities that we desired, and we were so well trained that we did it without attracting the attention of the Volturi.

"Success made Maria greedy—and thus she began to slip. She began to let her guard down—keeping some vampires for more than their normal year. One was Peter, a dear friend of mine. Peter was civil and he loathed being someone's puppet, along with a few others. One of these others was a female, Charlotte. She and Peter connected, on a much deeper level than I knew possible. And one night…they left. Maria was quite upset with me for letting two soldiers go. She was very much like Jane, she wasn't found of second chances," he showed me a scar located on his bottom jaw. My eyes widened, I couldn't fathom why anyone would stay with someone like that….

"After five years, Peter snuck back to visit me. He told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options that I'd never dreamed of. In five years they'd never had a fight, they found others in the north, found that it was possible to coexist with others. And for whatever reason I was convinced…and I was going to leave Maria. I walked away without a backwards glance.

"I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting use to this new, freeing world." Jasper stopped and stared off, memorized. "It wasn't until many years later that I found myself in a dinner in Philadelphia, waiting for the rain to start, so that the sun wouldn't expose me…and there she was. Expecting me, naturally." He chuckled once.

"She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly to me. I was shocked, I wasn't sure if she was going to attack, until she smiled. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I had ever felt."

"You kept me waiting long enough," Alice said, having snuck behind him. "And you ducked your head like a good Southern gentleman and said…"

"My apologizes, Ma'am." Jasper said smiling.

"I held out my hand, and you took it without stopping to make sense of what was happening." Alice added with the same smile.

"And for the first time in a century I felt something new, hope."


	12. Chapter 11 Options

**THE WINTRY AIR SEEMED TO MAKE JULIA ALERT , SHE SEEMED TENSE AS WE WALKED ALONG THE SHORE.**

"So, Alice is throwing this big party Saturday after graduation and you're invited." I told her smiling wide. She rolled her eyes and I nodded. "Yah, I figured that," I said stopping to stare at the ocean.

"I want to talk to you about something, Ben." Julia said nervously.

"Well talk." I said.

Julia met my eyes for a second, and then looked away towards the roaring waves. It almost looked like she was blushing, but it was hard to tell with her tan skin. I suddenly remembered what Eliza had said when she dropped me off—that Julia would tell me whatever she was shouting in her head. I started to gnaw at my lip.

"Look," Julia said. "I was planning to do this a little bit differently." She laughed, and It sounded like she was laughing at herself. "Smoother," she added. "I was going to work up to it, but—" and she looked at the clouds, dimmer as the afternoon progressed—"I'm out of time."

She laughed again, nervous.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

She took a deep breath. "I want to tell you something. And you already know it…but I think I should say it out loud anyway. Just so there's never any confusion on the subject."

I planted my feet, and she came to a stop. I folded my arms across my chest. I was suddenly sure that I didn't want to know where she was going with this.

Julia's eyebrows pulled down, and she stared up at me—her black eyes burned into mine.

"I'm in love with you, Ben," she said in a strong, sure voice. "And I want you to choose me instead of her. And I'm going to fight for you…until your heart stops beating."

"Then you won't have to fight for long. My heartbeats are numbered. Time is almost out!"

Her eyes narrowed. "All the more reason to fight," she whispered. And then she grabbed my face and the other gripping the back of my neck with her soft, but strong hands. I tried desperately to pull away, but she was much stronger than me. Her lips crushed mine, her kiss angry and rough. I grabbed at her face, trying to push away, failing miserably. She seemed to notice this time, and it aggravated her. Her lips forced mine open, and I could feel her hot breath in my mouth.

Adrenalin seemed to kick in, as did my own anger. With strength that I didn't know that I had I was able to finally push away. Unfortunately in doing so my fell backwards, my foot falling onto a hole that a child must've dug when they were playing in the sand. I hit my head on a conch shell, and my foot snapped.

"Ow! OW!" I screamed. Agony consumed my every cell; I didn't even notice that the back of my head was bleeding. Julia was beside me the moment she heard the snapping of my foot.

"Ben, Ben are you alright," she asked trying to help me up.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I yelled at her, shaking her off of me. I tried to get up, but feel to my knees the moment I put weight on my now broken ankle. Again Julia was trying to help me, and this time I let her, knowing there was no way I'd be able to walk all the way to the border.

"Ben, please, let me drive you home," Julia insisted. I started to balance on my good foot, and stared at her.

"No thanks," I hissed. "I'll hop to the border—Alice will see me and she'll send Eliza to pick me up." Julia flinched at the sound of her name. I turned and started to hop up the beach, knowing how unbelievably stupid I must've looked. I heard her walking towards me.

"Ben, please be reasonable. Let me drive you home," she said wrapping an arm around my waist. I jerked away, nearly falling back on the ground.

"Fine!" I growled. "Do! I can't wait to see what Eliza does to you! I hope she snaps your neck, you stupid, pushy, obnoxious, moronic DOG!"

Julia rolled her eyes. She put me arm around her shoulder and helped me to the passenger side of her mother's car, whistling all the way.

"I hate you, Julia Black." I told her once I buckled myself in.

"That's good. Hate is a passionate emotion."

"I'll give you passionate," I told her loudly. "Murder, the ultimate crime of passion."

"Oh, c'mon," she said, all cheery and looking like she was about to start whistling again. "That had to be better than kissing a rock."

"Not even remotely close," I told her coldly.

She pursed her lips. "You could be just saying that."

"But I'm not."

That seemed to bother her for a second, but then she perked up. "You're just mad. I don't have much experience myself, but I thought that it was pretty incredible myself."

"Ugh," I groaned.

"You're going to think about it tonight. When she thinks you're asleep, you'll be thinking about what I said. About you having options."

"If I think of you at all tonight, it will be because I'm having a nightmare. Not to mention that because of you I just broke my damn ankle."

Julia rolled her eyes. "You broke your ankle. If you hadn't pulled away…But seriously Ben, think about it. Think how it could be," she said in a soft eager voice. "You wouldn't have to change for me. You know Charlotte would be much happier if you picked me. I can protect you just as well as your vampire can—maybe better. I can make you happy, Ben. I can give you things she can't. I bet she can't even kiss you like that—because she would hurt you. I would never hurt you."

I reached my left hand behind my head, and found the spot where blood was still oozing out. I showed her my now bloodied hand, and motioned to my ankle.

She sighed. "That's all on you.

"Julia I can't be happy without her."

"You've never tried," he disagreed. "When she left, you spent your entire energy holding on to her. You could be happy if you let go. You could be happy with me."

"I don't want to be happy with anyone, but her." I insisted.

"You'll never be able to be as sure of her as you are of me. She left you once, she could do it again."

"No. She. Wont!" I hissed through my teeth. The pain of the memory bit into me like a whip. I wanted to hurt her back. "You left me once," I reminded her in a cold voice.

She stopped the car abruptly. "That wasn't the same thing…"

"The hell it wasn't, Julia. Now take me home." I looked away, and she started to drive. We drove in silence for a while; I didn't realize where we were going until we were on my road.

"Why did you take me here?" I demanded.

She looked at me blankly. "I thought you said to take you home."

"Ugh. I meant…well I guess you can't take me to Eliza's can you?" I ground my teeth in frustration. Pain twisted in her face, and I saw that what I had just said affected her more than anything else I had said.

"This is your home, Ben," she said quietly.

"No, not when Eliza isn't here," I said getting out of the car. I heard her door open and close. I turned and stared at her, bewildered.

"What are you doing? Go home." She ignored me and started to walk at my side.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I'm going to put some ice on my ankle, a bandage on my head, and call Eliza and tell her to come and get me. Then, if you're still here I'm going to tell her to break your jaw."

She didn't answer. She opened the door and held it for me. We walked silently past the front room where Charlotte was lying on the couch.

"Hey, kids," she said sitting up. "Nice to see you here, Julia."

"Hey, Charlotte," Julia answered casually, pausing to see what Charlotte was watching on TV. I hopped on to the kitchen.

"What's wrong with him?" Charlotte asked.

"Oh he fell, thinks he broke his ankle. He also hit is head on a shell, it's bleeding a little." I heard Julia tell my mother. I went to the freezer and pulled out the tray of ice.

"How'd he do that?" As my mother, I thought Charlotte ought to sound a bit more concerned and a little less amused.

Julia laughed. "Backing away from me."

Charlotte laughed, too, and I scowled while I beat the tray against the edge of the sink, a little too hard. The ice scattered inside the basin, and I grabbed handfuls and wrapped them in a dishcloth.

"Why was he trying to get away from you?"

"Because I was kissing him." Julia said, unashamed.

"Good for you, kid." Charlotte congratulated her. I ground my teeth and went for the phone. I dialed Eliza's cell.

"Ben?" she answered on the first ring. She sounded more than relieved—she was delighted. I could hear the Volvo's engine in the background; she was already in the car—that was good. "You left the phone…I'm sorry, did Julia drive you home?"

"Yes," I grumbled. "Will you come and get me, please?"

"I'm on the way," she said at once. "What's wrong?"

"I need Esme to look at my ankle, and maybe stich up my head."

It had gone quiet in the other room, and I wondered when Julia would bolt. I smiled a grim smile, imagining her discomfort.

"What happened?" Eliza asked her voice flat.

"I fell," I admitted.

"Doing what?"

"I was trying to get away from Julia. She was kissing me and I pulled away too hard."

All I heard on the other end was the car's engine accelerating. In the other room, Charlotte spoke again.

"Maybe you should take off, Julia," she suggested.

"I think I'll hang out here, if you don't mind."

"Your funeral," Charlotte muttered.

"Is the dog still there?" Eliza finally spoke again.

"Yes."

"I'm just around the corner," she said darkly, and the line disconnected.

As I hung up the phone, smiling. I heard the sound of her car racing down the street. The breaks protested loudly as she slammed to a stop out front. I hoped to get the door, with the bandage pressed tightly to my head—my mother fighting to hold back a chuckle.

"How's the foot?" She asked as I hopped by. I didn't even acknowledge her, I just went straight to the door. When I opened the door, Eliza was waiting.

"Let me see," she murmured. She squatted and examined my ankle, so gently that it caused me no pain at all. Her hands were as cold as the ice—it was heaven.

"I don't think it's broken, but defiantly sprained—now let me see your head." I wanted to tell her "no", but it was too late, she was already pulling the bandage back, looking at the gash in my head.

"Oh, Ben," she cooed. I felt her cold fingers move my thick hair aside as best as she could, looking at the gash. "Esme is defiantly going to have to stich it up." I pulled away quickly when she said that.

"You don't need to make yourself uncomfortable," I said to her, using the bottom of my shirt to wipe the blood off her hands.

"It doesn't bother me anymore," she said softly, looking up in my eyes.

I was shocked to say the least. "Since when," I whispered.

"Since I spent twenty-four hours thinking you were dead." She said calmly. She put my arm around her shoulder and helped me back into my house.

"Charlotte," she said in a soft voice. "I'm going to take Ben to my house to have Esme check out the sprain and the gash in his head, that going to need stiches."

My mother looked concerned for the first time since Julia and I arrived. Eliza turned to look at Julia, and pointed a white finger at her.

"As for you…" but before she could finish her threat, my mom stood up, between them.

"Hey now," she said in her officer voice. "I don't want any fighting here, I'll put my badge on if I need to." I rolled my eyes at my mother; my anger at her was growing. First she congratulates the dog for kissing me, then she doesn't even care that I'm hurt until Eliza mentions stiches, and now she threatens Eliza when she lets Julia sit on the couch and watch TV with her, unbelievable.

Eliza exhaled and then looked at my mother. "That won't be necessary." Eliza started to pull me away towards the door, I followed, my anger subsiding now that Eliza was with me. We were out the door when I heard Charlotte whispering anxiously.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?"

"Give me a minute, Charlotte," Julia answered. "Don't worry I'll be right back."

I looked back and Julia was following us, stopping to close the door in Charlotte's surprised and uneasy face.

Eliza ignored her at first, leading me to her car. She helped me into the passenger side, shut the door, and then turned to face Julia on the sidewalk.

Julia's stance was casual, her arms folded across her chest, but the muscles in her jaw were tight.

Eliza spoke in a voice so peaceful and gentle that it made the words strangely more threating, like if Jane was the one saying them. "I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Ben."

"Hmph," I grumbled.

Eliza turned slightly to throw me a quick smile. Her face was still calm. "It would bother you in the morning," she said, brushing my cheek through the open window. Then she turned back to Julia. "But if you ever touch him against his will again—you will be running on three legs, and I will gladly break your jaw for him. Got it mutt?" Eliza turned away and walked to the driver's side, she was half way in the car when she turned to look at Julia. "One more thing," she said slowly. "I'll be fighting for him, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

"Good," Julia smirked. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits."

"He is mine." Eliza soft voice was now dark.

"May the best girl win," Julia said happily. She leaned around Eliza and smiled at me. I glowered back. "I do hope your ankle feels better." I wanted to give her the bird, but I just turned away.

"How do you feel?" Eliza asked as we drove away.

"Irritated."

She chuckled. "I meant your hand."

I shrugged. "I've had worse."

"True," she agreed, and frowned.

Eliza drove around the house to the garage. Rosalie and Emmett were there as well. Emmett was under his Jeep. Rosalie was sitting beside him, one hand reached under the Jeep toward him. It took me a moment to realize that she was acting as the jack. She watched carefully as Eliza helped me out of the car, and she started to laugh after her eyes zeroed in on my hurt ankle.

"Trying to walk and chew gum at the same time again, Ben?" she laughed. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"No, Rose I fell trying to get away from a werewolf." Rosalie's eyes bulged a little, and she smiled.

"Badass," she said.

Eliza escorted me to the main house, where Esme checked my injuries. I ended up getting ten stiches in my head, and I needed a brace on my ankle. Esme suggested that I use my right foot as little as possible, but assured me that my ankle was not broken. As if I needed—or even had room for—one more thing to worry about. Apparently Rosalie and Jasper were betting about my first year as a 'newborn', they were betting on how many people I would murder.

All of Jasper's stories about newly created vampires had been percolating in my head since he'd explained his past. I'd always known that I would be different. I hoped that I would be as strong as Eliza said I would be. Strong and fast, and most of all, handsome. Someone who could stand next to Eliza and feel like he belonged there.

I'd been trying to not think too much about the other things that I'd be. Wild, bloodthirsty and a murderer. Maybe I'd be like Esme and never harm another human, maybe I'd be as strong as she was, and like the immortals in Seattle. But there was another thing that had me losing sleep at night. Jasper had me convinced that the only thing I'd be interested in was killing people, what would happen to the things that I wanted now?

Eliza was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I was human. Usually it seemed kind of silly to me. There weren't many human experiences that I worried about missing. As long as I got to be with Eliza, what else could there be to ask for?

I stared at her face as she watched Esme fix my ankle. There was nothing in this world that I wanted more than her. Would that, could that, change? Was there a human experience that I was not willing to give up?


	13. Chapter 12 Graduation

**I SAT IN MY SEAT, LISTINING AS JESSE GAVE HIS SPEECH TO THE GRADUATING CLASS. **He looked so proud to be valedictorian, and though me and him were no longer good friends, I was happy for him.

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case… Power Ranger." Everyone laughed at the small pun…but it was so true. When I was five I wanted to be a superhero—I'd dress up in my Halloween costume all the time…God was I happy that my mom lost those pitchers.

"When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows?!" Everyone cheered.

"This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions; it's time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent." I looked down, so happy that Julia wasn't here; she'd rub that point in my face.

"So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won't have to guess. We'll know."

When he finished the entire gym erupted in applause. The principal, Mr. Greene approached the podium and shook hands with Jess, and the names started to be called. It went by so quickly. I felt like I'd hit the fast forward button. Mr. Greene was calling the names out fast, one right after the other.

I watched as Alice danced across the stage and took her diploma, but despite the little dance, a look of deep concentration was plastered on her face. I watched as Eliza followed behind. Her expression confused, but not upset. Only the two of them could wear the hideous gold gowns and still look amazing. They stood out from the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how everyone fell for the human façade…I looked at angles.

I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting in the line in front of me to move. I heard a loud roar of applause behind me. I turned and saw my mother, standing out of her seat, cheering and clapping her hands. Then I noticed that Esme and Carlisle had joined her, and I smiled as I felt the rush of blood flood to my cheeks.

"Congratulations, Mr. Swan," Mr. Greene mumbled to me, pressing the diploma in my hand.

"Thanks," I said with a sheepish smile, walking as fast as I could with the brace on my ankle.

And that was it.

Once I was off the stage I admittedly started to look for Eliza, but I could not find her in the sea of gold gowns and caps.

"Congratulations," Eliza whispered from behind me, her arms wrapping around my waist. Her voice was subdued; she'd been in no hurry for me to reach this milestone, the last milestone of my human existence.

"Um, thanks." I said, turning my body so that I was facing her.

"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet," she said to me, referring to the conversation that we had before my mother drove us to the school.

"Not quite yet."

"What's left to worry about? The party? It won't be that bad."

"You're probably right."

"BEN!" Charlotte shouted, pushing her way past others to get to me. When she finally reached me she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tight. "Congratulations, baby!" She was still yelling, even though she was right at my ear now.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"So, where do you want to go to dinner?" Charlotte asked. "The sky's the limit." Really no it wasn't. There was one restaurant in town, and that was going to be packed.

"I can cook."

"Don't be silly. Don't you want to go to the Lodge?"

"Sure, the Lodge…super." I should've been in a better mood, but the party that Alice was throwing had me in a bad mood. Charlotte turned to look at Eliza and actually smiled.

"Would you like to join us, Eliza?" Eliza smiled and shook her head.

"I'd love to, but Alice needs my help setting up for the party." Eliza turned to look at me, and kissed me lightly on the lips. "I'll see you at the party." I couldn't help myself and smiled.

"Sure, can't wait."

The Lodge was crowded. The place was, in my opinion, overpriced and tacky, but being the only place to eat in town one couldn't complain. Charlotte was busy bragging to anyone who would listen about how I'd just graduated, I glared at her, and she knew that I didn't like to be the center of attention — it was worse than death for me. After about an hour and a half I was free. When we got home I dragged myself up to my room to change, though my favorite blue shirt had been stolen by my "visitor", so I'd have to wear my church shirt. I had just closed my door when I saw a package wrapped in blue ribbon sitting on my bed. I walked over to it and knew immediately who it was from…Alice. I groaned in disapproval before opening it.

Inside was an ice-blue shirt, almost identical to the one that had been stolen. I yanked it out of the box, and found that a note was attached to the bottom of the box.

_Sorry—hope you aren't mad._

I rolled my eyes, took my old shirt off and put the new one on.

By the time I'd gotten to the Cullens' over half the senior class was there, I had to park my truck by the garage, since the three mile drive way was already taken up. I was greeted by Jess and Alex…both having the time of their lives. Alice had really outdone herself, the decorations, the food, the music…all too much for a graduation party though. Unfortunately Eliza wasn't anywhere to be found, nor Alice. I was about to climb upstairs to search in Eliza's room when a new face entered the door. Anger swelled up in me, the rage was causing me to shake. She saw me and with a stupid smug smile she walked over to me.

"Hey Ben," she said sweetly. My hands clenched into fist.

"What are you doing here, dog?" I asked coldly. Julia flinched slightly at the word, but then she smiled again.

"You invited me, remember?"

"Were the threats that Eliza and I both gave you too subtle? You're not welcome here Julia." I started to walk away when I felt her hand grab my shoulder.

"Ben…I'm really sorry. What I did was wrong, and I wish I could blame it on the inner animal thing, but really it was just me being an ass." She gave me the world's saddest set of puppy dog eyes, and I felt a smile creep on my face.

"You're on probation. Another stupid stunt like that and our friendship is over, got it?" Julia smiled and nodded her head.

"Got it." I smiled and started to walk her over to the food table when I saw Alice and Eliza descending from the stairs. Her face was in shock as she stared out into space, Eliza's face hardened too as she saw what Alice was seeing. I rushed over to them, pushing my way through my former classmates.

"What is it? What did you see?" I asked Alice, grabbing her hands as she returned to normal. Her face masked that of a victim in some Michael Myers movie. She looked at me with wide eyes and said in a soft, almost inaudible voice.

"They're coming here. The newborns from Seattle…they're coming for you."


	14. Chapter 13 It's Her

**"WHAT," I ASKED, GOING NUMB FROM THE REALIZATION OF WHAT ALICE HAD JUST ANNOUNCED. **Alice stared blankly at me, Eliza's face contorted in rage, as did Julia's. I felt the color leave my face. My stomach lurched. "They're coming here?" I chocked out.

"Yes," Eliza said blankly.

"To Forks, for me?" I whispered.

"Yes."

Jasper's expression was disapproving. "Well we can't let them come here. There aren't enough of us to protect the town."

"I know," Alice said, her face suddenly desolate. "But it doesn't matter where we stop them. There still won't be enough of us to stop them."

The noise of the party overwhelmed the sound of my denial. All around us, my friends and neighbors and petty enemies ate and laughed and swayed to the music, oblivious to the fact they were all about to face danger beyond anything that they could imagine, maybe even death. Because of me.

"I'll leave, I'll leave town, the state, the country if I have to."

"Ben, that won't help. We're not dealing with a tracker; they're going to come here first."

"Then I have to meet them!" If my voice hadn't been so hoarse and strained I might have sounded brave. "If they have what they are coming for, they'll leave. And then no one else will get hurt."

A deep, angry growl erupted from Eliza's lips. Alice's eyes grew with horror.

"Ben!" she protested.

"Hold it," Julia ordered in a low, forceful voice. "What's coming?"

Alice turned her icy gaze on her. "Our kind. Lots of them."

"Why?"

"For Ben. That's all we know."

"And there are too many for you?" she asked.

Eliza snorted. "We have a few advantages, Dog. It will be an even fight."

"No," Julia said, and a strange, fierce half-smile spread across her face. "It won't be even."

"Excellent!" Alice hissed. I stared, still frozen in horror, at Alice's new expression. Her face was alive with exultation, all the despair wiped clean from her flawless face. She grinned at Julia, and she grinned back.

"Everything has disappeared, of course," she told her in a smug voice. "That's a bit inconvenient, but, all things considered, I'll take it."

"We'll have to coordinate," Julia said. "It won't be easy for us. Still, as long as we get to kill some vampires…"

"NO!" I shouted, loud enough that everyone stared at me. "Alice this isn't a good idea, they could get killed."

"We could all get killed, Ben." Alice said impatiently. "But with the wolves on our side, we have a better chance."

"It won't be an issue, Ben," Julia chimed in. "This is kind of our job."

I rolled my eyes irritated, and started to pace back and forth. "This is stupid! I'm done with putting people in danger, it would be better if we just let them take me."

Eliza grabbed me roughly by the shoulders, her eyes angry. "Don't. Say. That. Ever. Again!" she uttered slowly. Julia walked over, her eyes angry, but softer.

"For once I agree with the leech. Don't even think that way." She said looking at me.

Jasper cleared his throat, making everyone turn their gaze to him.

"We'll need to…coordinate," he said. "You'll need to inform the others of what is going on," he said to Julia.

"When and where?"

"Three o'clock—ten miles due north of the Hoh Forest ranger station."

"We'll be there." Julia said smiling, and then left the porch and dissipated into the party as I watched helplessly.

That had to be the longest party in the history of the world," I complained on the way home.

Eliza didn't seem to disagree. "It's over now," she said softly, rubbing my arm soothingly. It seemed like I was the only one who needing soothing now. Eliza was fine—all the Cullens were fine.

They'd all reassured me; Alice reaching up to pat my head as I left, eyeing Jasper meaningfully until a flood of peace swirled around me, Esme kissing my forehead and promising me that everything will be alright, and Rose cracking jokes. They all seemed relaxed now that the wolves were involved. Doubt had been replaced with confidence. The party had ended on a note of true celebration.

Not for me.

It was worse enough that the Cullens were going to fight for me, but now Julia and her brothers were involved. Her eager, immature brothers. Most of them younger than me, they were just oversized and had muscles. They looked forward to this kind of thing, like a picnic on the beach, instead of looking at the horror of the situation.

I whispered this time, trying to control my voice. "You're taking me with you tonight!"

"Ben, you're worn out."

"You think I could sleep?"

"Ben this is all experimental for us. I'm not sure it will go smoothly…I don't want you in the middle of that."

"If you won't take me I'll call Julia." I threatened…

_I watched helplessly as my family and friends practiced fighting. Julia and her pack had shown up in wolf form, not trusting the Cullens enough apparently. I gave Julia a cold glare and reminded her that she was on probation, and that this move had cost her one strike. Jasper instructed all of them how to fight newborns. Each of them taking turns in "play fighting". I hated every moment of it, especially when it came to Alice and Eliza. Alice moved like a jungle cat on several steroids, but she was just so tiny, like a child. And Eliza….the thought of her fighting in a battle it horrified me. In my mind I saw some crazed newborn gripping her by her head and ripping it off of her shoulders. I saw them through the pieces in a fire, the thick purple smoke rising as they burned. Several times I had to look away, trying desperately to shake the horrible thoughts out of my head. After what seemed like hours of watching them fight Jasper announced that it was over, and that they'd continue some other time. Perhaps he sensed my discomfort. The wolves left first, Sam and Julia being the last…_

Eliza carried me home, and I feel asleep in her arms. When I woke up my body felt very stiff, meaning that I had slept way too long. I turned my head slightly and saw Eliza sitting up in my bed, lightly stroking me hair.

"Afternoon," she said softly, smiling down at me. I stretched my body and smiled back.

"Afternoon?" I asked, the sleepiness still rang in my voice.

"Yes, you've been asleep for a while…what were you dreaming about?"

"Dreaming?" I asked aloud.

"Yes," she said softly. "You seemed to have a very vivid dream. You were moving and mumbling on and on about something."

I desperately thought back to the night before, trying hard to remember the dream that I had supposedly had. I let my head fall back onto the pillow and closed my eyes. I saw a flash of red, and then I shot straight up. Eliza gripped my arm; I could feel her eyes on me.

"It's her," I muttered almost incoherently.

"Her? Who's her?"

"Victoria…she's behind all of this."

"No she can't be. Alice would've seen—"

"Not unless she's hiding behind the others!" 


	15. Chapter 14 Decisions Decisions

**_Note to Readers. I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated. There have been two deaths in the family and I've not been in the proper state of mind to write...but I am doing better now and will be finishing Shadows and starting Falling Star "Breaking Dawn"_**

* * *

**_"I HAVE TO BE IN THAT CLEARING, ELIZA."_**

"No," she said in a very final tone. We'd been arguing about this since last night, more so now that I was sure that Victoria was involved. Eliza wouldn't hear it, she was being very stubborn. It's not so much that I wanted to be involved in the fight; I would stand no chance against a normal vampire, much less a newborn, but I didn't want to be away from Eliza. I didn't want to be stuck somewhere alone, wondering all along what was happening to her, if she was alright, if she was…

_Cruel,_ I accused myself. _Selfish, selfish, selfish! Don't do it_!

I ignored my better instincts. I couldn't look at her while I spoke, though. The guilt had my eyes glued to the sheets of the bed.

"Okay, look, Eliza," I whispered. "Here's the thing…I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. And I know I couldn't stand it if you left me again."

I didn't look at her to see her reaction, afraid to see the pain I had inflicted. I did hear her sudden intake of breath and the silence that followed. I stared at the blue sheets and comforter, and wished that I could take the words back.

Suddenly her arms were around me, her hands stroking my face, my arms. She was comforting me. The guilt went into spiral mode. But the survival instinct was stronger. There was no question that she was fundamental to my survival.

"You know it's not like that, Ben," she murmured. "I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

"I can't stand it," I insisted, still staring down. "Not knowing if you'll come back or not. How do I live through that?"

She sighed. "It's going to be easy, Ben. There's no reason for you to fear. Alice called me, while you were sleeping. They're down to nineteen. It's going to be a piece of cake, I bet one of us will have to sit on the sidelines."

"So there's no reason for me to worry?"

"Not at all."

"And everyone will be fine?"

"Everyone," she promised.

"So easy that someone could simply sit out?"

"Yes."

It felt too simple—she had to have seen it coming.

"So easy that _you_ could sit out?" After a long moment I looked down at her face. The poker face was back on. I took a deep breath. "So it's one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case I have to hide. Or it's so easy that they'll get by without you. Which is it?"

I knew what she was thinking about—the same thing I was thinking about. Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and…and Alice.

I wondered for a moment if I was a monster. Not the kind that she was so sure that she was, but the real kind. The kind that hurt people. The kind that knew no limits when it came to getting what they wanted.

What I wanted was to keep her safe, safe with me.

"You're asking me to let them fight without my help?" she said in a quiet voice.

"Yes." I was surprised that I was able to keep my voice even, when I felt so wicked inside. "Or, you let me be there to help in some kind of way. Either way, as long as we're together."

She took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. She moved her hands to place them on either side of my face, forcing me to meet her gaze. She looked into my eyes for a while. I wondered what she was looking for, and what it was that she found.

Her eyes tightened against some emotion that I could not read, and she dropped one hand to pull out her phone.

"Alice," she sighed. "Could you come babysit Ben for a moment?" She raised a brow, daring me to object to the word. "I need to speak with Jasper."

After a moment Eliza hung up her phone. She then turned to me and smiled.

"I'm going to go talk to Jasper, about sitting out." It was so easy to read in her face how hard those words were for her to speak.

I put my forehead against her's. "I'm sorry."

"Never be afraid to tell me anything

I was sorry. I hated to make her do this. Not enough for me to change my mind, to fake a smile and tell her to go on, though.

"Don't apologize, Ben. Never be afraid to tell me what you think." She pulled me close and held me…we stayed that way for awhile.

Eliza talked to her family about our arrangement—they all seemed to understand…

I pulled up in my old—ratty truck, which screeched in protest as I pushed on the break. I looked over at the other side of the street and cringed in horror. Alice's bright yellow Porsche glowed in the twilight. My heart started to beat at an alarming rate. My mind started to think up horrible reasons as to why she was waiting for me. Had Victoria's army of newborns already made their way? Was my mother alright? Was Eliza? I threw the seatbelt off of me and shoved the door open. I was at my front door within seconds. I opened the door violently and glared into the dark house.

"Mom? Alice?" I whispered, moving my eyes around, waiting to find body parts or blood soaked into the carpet and plastered on the walls.

"We're in here, Ben," My mom called out. I sighed in relief. I walked into the kitchen where the voice had come from. I saw my mom sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea by her. Alice sat smiling across her. I curiosity was peeked, and I gave Alice a quick chance, to which she just smiled.

"Alice tells me that Eliza and the others are going on a camping trip this weekend," my mom said sipping her tea. I raised my brows at Alice, wondering what and where she was going with this. Alice nodded her head and continued with the story.

"Yes, it's just terrible. They're leaving me high and dry this weekend," Alice exclaimed, sighing heavily at the end. She looked so sad—like a wet puppy left in the rain. My mom reached over and grabbed her hand, not even flinching at the coldness of it.

"Maybe you could stay over here this weekend," she said softly. My eyes grew—my mother would never have offered Eliza that. Alice threw me a quick glance, obviously needing my help coming up with an excuse for her not to accept the invitation. I desperately scrambled for something to say, and blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Um, Mom," I said scratching the back of my head. "I don't think Alice would feel real comfortable on our blow up air mattress." My mom squinted her eyes, as if she knew something was up. She was about to respond when her cell phone rang in the other room.

"Excuse me," she said as she got up from her seat, leaving Alice and I alone. I quickly took the seat next to her.

"What's going on?" I asked. Alice rolled her eyes.

"I'm trying to get you out of the house this weekend—you know for the battle…and if I'm correct that is Henry Clearwater on the phone with your mother right now, getting her away for the weekend as well."

"Henry Clearwater?" I asked suspiciously. Alice smiled.

"Yah, you know Seth and Leah's father."

"I know who he is. Why is he in charge of getting my mother away for the weekend?" Alice's smile grew wider.

"Oh Ben, I can't tell you everything. Something's you have to figure out on your own, when the time is right." My forehead creased as I tried to discover what she was talking about when my mother walking, her cellphone still pressed to her ear.

"Yah that sounds fun," she said twirling her hair around her finger. "I'll be ready Saturday morning. Alright can't wait." Her smile grew as she pressed the end button. The realization had completely overtaken me. I stared at her, my mouth hanging open. "What?" she asked.

I couldn't even say it—my mother had a date with Henry Clearwater. His wife wasn't even dead for four months…

"Well Ben, I'm going to be away this weekend, so why don't you go over to Alice's this weekend, their house is bigger anyhow."

"Well it's settled then," Alice said with a smile before looking back at me. "Why don't you come over tonight?" she asked.

"That sounds like it could be fun, Ben," my mother said. I turned to her, and then to Alice.

"Does Ben get a say in this," I asked. Both my mother and Alice shook their heads "no". I sighed and just accepted it. Alice got up from her seat, her demeanor had completely changed. She skipped towards the door.

"Be there by eight, Ben," she added as she closed the door behind her. I sighed and looked down at the kitchen table. My mother walked towards the fridge and began pulling things out, most likely things to make a sandwich with.

I couldn't be sure if it was the cloud of death that was hanging over my head, but I was thinking about the ring upstairs, hidden in my room, and how it really seemed immature of me to not give it to Eliza.

"Mom, what is your view on marriage?" I asked not looking over at her. I knew the question had caught her off guard by the way she stopped moving around. I slowly turned my head to face her, finding that she was staring out the window.

"What," she said silently.

"Marriage, what is your view on it? I mean does it have any value?"

"Of course it has value, Ben. It's, I don't know. I guess it works better for some people. I mean look at your father, he seems very happy with Phyllis…but he's older. You know, it didn't work out well with me and him." She continued to make her sandwich. I got up from the chair and started to head to my room when she continued to talk. "But, Ben. You don't want to _have to_ get married," she said eyeing me.

"What?" I asked. She sighed and cracked her neck.

"You don't want to have to get married, because of…you know…"

"Oh God, Mom. Please tell me you aren't trying to have the _talk_ with me."

"Hey this is just as embarrassing for me as it is for you," she said with her palms up.

"Oh I doubt that, and besides Dad already had the talk with me like ten years ago, so you're off the hook."

"Yah but you didn't have a girlfriend ten years ago!"

"I'm sure things work the same way," I said backing away.

"Just promise me you and Eliza are being safe," she pleaded.

"Mom, you don't have to worry. Eliza…she's old school." I said wanting this conversation to be over.

"What is that code for something?"

"MOM," I said loudly. "I'm a virgin!" I said. My mom covered her ears and let out a little screech.

"Oh…dah…the word...God." I backed away and headed for the stairs. "I'm glad we had this talk," my mother called out to me.

"Me too!"

I was just entering my room when I heard her call out again. "Hey Ben, this means I like Eliza more now!" I shuddered and closed the door. I walked over to my drawer that hid the ring. I opened it and dug for the black velvet box. I clutched it in my hand, it felt heavy. I walked over to my bed and threw the box lightly between my hands. I tried to think of reason to not give it to her, but none of them seemed right. She was going to allow me to become immortal, something that she hatted, so why couldn't I comprises and do something for her? Suddenly my phone buzzed. I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. It was a text from Alice.

"**_Just going to be you and Eliza tonight! The rest of us are going hunting, charge up for the big battle…you're welcome!" _**

I knew that tonight might be the only night to do this…that tomorrow might be too late.


	16. Chapter 15 Engagement

**EVERYTHING WAS READY.** I was packed for my weekend visit with "Alice", and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat on my truck. I found myself oddly calm. My mother would be away on a fishing trip with Henry, though that was a bit uncomfortable, and Eliza was going to be safe with me. I had done all that I could do, I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control out of my head, at least for tonight. Eliza had requested that I relax. A chill ran down my spine as I started to drive down their two mile long driveway. Everything was about to happen, that is if my courage stayed with me. The box was in my pocket. But there was yet another thing on my mind. All this talk about newborns and how unbelievably blood crazed they were, was making me second guess rushing into becoming an immortal. There was defiantly one human experience I was not sure I wanted to give up.

I was ready though, to join her family and to become apart of her world. I knew that after my transformation she'd never again have to choose between me and her family. No, we'd be partners, like Alice and Jasper.

We had some things to work out tonight. After the last year I had, I knew that nothing was impossible, though talking her into this new compromise would certainly be close. I parked the car right by the stairs that led to the large front door. I took a deep breath as I got out of my truck. Eliza met me at the door. She wrapped her arms around me, and pressed her lips to mine. The kiss did not frighten me. It wasn't like before when I could feel the fear and panic leaking through her control. Her lips were not anxious, but enthusiastic—she seemed as thrilled as I that we had this night together, just us. She continued to kiss me for several minutes, standing there in the entry; she seemed less guarded than usual, her mouth cold and urgent on mine.

I began to feel oddly optimistic. Perhaps getting what I wanted would not be as difficult as I thought it would be.

No, of course it was going to be just exactly that difficult. With a low chuckle she pulled away, holding me at arm's length.

"Welcome home," she said, her eyes liquid and warm.

"That sounds nice," I said, breathless. I wrapped my arms around her, not wanting there to be any space between us.

"I have something for you," she said, her tone conversational.

"Oh?"

"It's nothing—just a hand-me-down."

"You know I don't like gifts…"

"You said you don't like people to spend money on you, and I didn't spend a dime." Eliza smiled in victory—she had found a loophole. She grabbed my hand and we walked up the stairs towards her room. She sat me down on the large new bed that she had put in during my last  
"visit". "Close your eyes," she whispered in my ear. I complied. I heard her open a drawer and pick something up. I felt the slight gush of wind as she came back. She picked up my hand and turned it so that my palm was facing up. She put whatever she was holding into my palm. It was cold and round. "Alright open," she said in a soft voice. I opened my eyes and looked down at the hand-me-down gift. It was a golden pocket watch. I pulled my hand closer to my face to examine it. I turned it over and saw the inscription, _"To My Heart's Desire"._ I looked up at Eliza, about to ask her if she had the watch engraved.

"It was my father's," she said as our eyes met. "My mother gave it to him at their engagement party," she explained. I marveled to myself, at the age of the watch. I pressed the button that released the top. I gasped slightly, the roman numerals were covered with tiny diamonds. It was a beautiful gift, one that would cost a lot of money, thousands of dollars maybe. But for some reason I didn't care. It was a hand-me-down of course.

"It's beautiful," I said almost unable to talk.

"I'm glad you like it," she said. Eliza sat on the bed next to me. This seemed like a good time to start.

"Can we discuss something? I'd really appreciate it if you could _begin_ by being open minded."

She hesitated for a moment. "I'll give it my best effort," she agreed, cautious now.

"I'm not breaking any rules here," I promised. "This is about you and me." I cleared my throat. "So…I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principal to a different situation." I wondered why I was being so formal. Must be the nerves.

"What would you like to negotiate?" she asked, a smile in her voice. I struggled, trying to find exactly the right words to open with. "Listen to your heart fly," she murmured. "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Please go on then," she encouraged.

"Well, I guess first, I wanted to talk to you about your condition…marriage." Her eyes widened for a moment before turning back to normal. "I don't want to talk about my…renovations right now, that part is a done deal, but I do want to hammer out some other details."

She looked at me suspiciously. "Which details do you mean exactly?"

I hesitated. "Why don't we clarify your prerequisites first."

"You know what I want."

"Marriage," I said simply.

"Yes." She smiled a wide smile. "To start with."

The shock spoiled my carefully composed expression. "There's more?"

"Well," she said, and her face was calculating. "If you're my husband, then what's mine is yours…like tuition money. I wouldn't mind some more time."

"No! That's a deal breaker."

She sighed longingly. "Just a year or two?"

I shook my head, my lips set in a stubborn frown. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you want to talk cars…"

She grinned widely at my grimace, and then took my hand and began to play with my fingers. "I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious." Her voice was low and soft. The slight edge would have been hard to detect had I not known it so well.

I paused, staring at her hand on mine. I still didn't know how to begin. I felt her eyes watching me and I was afraid to look up. The blood began to burn in my face. Her cool finger brushed my cheek. "You're blushing?" she asked in surprise. I kept my eyes down. "Please, Ben, the suspense is painful."

I bit my lip.

"Ben," her tine reproached me now, reminded me that it was hard for her when I kept my thoughts to myself.

"Well, I am a little worried…about after," I admitted, finally looking into her eyes. I felt her body tense, but her voice was gentle and velvet.

"What are you worried about?"

"All of you just seem _so _convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering the entire town," I confessed, while she winced at my choice of words. "And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be _me _anymore…and that I won't…I won't want you the same way I do now."

"Oh, Ben, that part doesn't last forever," she assured me.

She was missing the point.

"Eliza," I said, nervous, staring at a freckle on my wrist. "There is something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore."

She waited for me to continue. I didn't. My face was all hot.

"Whatever you want," she encouraged, anxious and completely clueless.

"You promise?" I muttered, knowing that my attempt to trap her with her words was not going to work, but unable to resist.

"Yes," she said. I looked down to see that her eyes were earnest and confused. "Tell me what you want and you can have it." I couldn't believe how awkward and idiotic I felt. I was too innocent—which was, of course, central to the discussion. I didn't have the faintest idea how to be…seductive. I would have to settle for flushed and self-conscious.

"You," I mumbled almost incoherently.

"You already have me," she said confused, "I'm yours forever." She tried to hold my gaze as I looked away. I took in a deep breath and shifted forward so that I was kneeling on the bed. Then I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her.

She kissed me back, bewildered but willing. Her lips were gentle against mine, and I could tell that her mind was elsewhere—trying to figure out what was on _my_ mind. I decided that she needed a hint.

My hands were slightly shaky as I unlocked my arms from around her neck. My fingers slid off of her neck, her shoulders, and found their way to my shirt. With trembling fingers I started to undo the buttons before she stopped me.

Her lips froze, and I could almost hear the click in her head as she put together my words and my actions. She pushed away at once, her face heavily disapproving.

"Be reasonable, Ben."

"You promised—whatever I wanted," I reminded her without hope.

"We are not having this discussion." She glared at me while I refastened the two buttons I'd managed to open. My teeth clamped together.

"I say we are," I growled.

"I say we're not," she said flatly. We stared at each other.

"You wanted to know," I pointed out.

"I thought it would be reasonable—something faintly realistic."

"So you can talk about marriage, and cars, and—and I'm not even allowed to discuss what I—"

While I was ranting, she pulled my hands together to restrain them in one of hers, and put her other hand over my mouth.

"No." Her face was hard. I took a deep breath to steady myself. And, as the anger began to fade, I felt something else.

It took me a moment to recognize why I was staring down again, why the blood was rushing to my cheeks—why my stomach felt uneasy, why I suddenly wanted to run from the room.

Rejection washed through me, instinctive and strong. I knew it was irrational. She'd been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor. Yet I'd never made myself quite vulnerable before. I scowled at the golden comforter that matched her eyes and tried to banish the reflection that told me I was unwanted and unwantable.

Eliza sighed. The hand over my mouth moved under my chin, and she pulled my face down until I had to look at her.

"What now?"

"Nothing," I mumbled.

She scrutinized my face for a long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from her gaze. Her brow furrowed, and her expression become horrified.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" she asked, shocked.

"No," I lied.

So quickly that I wasn't even sure how it happened, I was in her arms, my face cradled between her shoulder and her hand, while her thumb stroked reassuringly against my cheek.

"You know why I have to say no," she murmured. "You know that I want you, too."

"Do you?" I whispered my voice full of doubt.

"Of course I do, you silly, wonderful, oversensitive boy." She laughed once, and then her voice was bleak. "Doesn't everyone? I feel like there is a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake…You're too desirable for your own good."

"Who's being silly now?" I doubted that self-conscious, clumsy, awkward, and inept added up to _desirable_ in anyone's book.

"Ben, believe me…I want to. But it's not safe. We will, just not now, not when you're so breakable." Her voice was soft and sincerer. I was desperate, so very desperate. I didn't want to sound like one of those boyfriends who pressured their girlfriends into having sex. I wasn't doing that. I wanted to be with her, to give myself to her in the most human way possible. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me.

"Eliza…please let's just try, please."

"No, Ben," she said in a very final tone. "It's not risky, not now."

"Eliza—now is the perfect time. In almost no time I'll be immortal. And according to you and your entire family I'll be so far gone that I'd kill Charlotte, Ryan, even Julia if I got the chance. I want to be with you, to show you how much you mean to me. I want this one human experience. Please just try…only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you. I'll let you pay for me to go to some expensive school. I'll let you buy me some car that's worth more than my house. Just try, please."

Her icy arms tightened around me, and her lips were at my ear; her cool breath made me shiver. "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you—and this is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful this is for me, when you plead to me like this?"

"Then don't refuse," I suggested breathlessly. She was motionless and silent, and I took my chance. I twisted quickly in her arms till my lips reached hers. Her hands seized my face, and I thought that she was going to push away again.

I was wrong!

Her mouth was not gentle; there was a brand new edge of conflict and desperation in the way that her lips moved. I locked my arms around her neck, and, to my suddenly overheated skin, her body felt colder than ever. I trembled, but not because of the chill.

She didn't stop kissing me. I was the one who had to break away, gasping for air. Even then her lips did not leave my skin, they just moved to my throat. The thrill of victory was a strange high; it made me feel powerful. Brave. My hands were not unsteady now; and this time I was able to undo the buttons on her blouse. My fingers traced her flawless skin, cupping her cool breast. She was too beautiful. What was the word she had used moments before? Unbearable—that was it. Her beauty was too much to bear…

I pulled her mouth back to mine, and she seemed just as eager as I was. One of her hands still cupped my face, her other arm was around my waist, pulling me closer to her. It made it slightly more difficult as I tried to reach the front of my shirt, but not impossible.

Cold iron fetters locked around my wrist, and pulled my hands away from my shirt. Her lips were at my ear again. "Ben," she murmured her voice warm and velvet. "Would you _please_ stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?" I ask trying to sound seductive.

"Not tonight," she answered swiftly. Her lips were slower now against my cheek and jaw, all the urgency gone.

"Eliza, don't—," I started to argue.

"I'm not saying no," she reassured me. _"I'm just saying not tonight." _I thought about that while my breathing slowed.

"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night." I was still breathless; it made the frustration in my voice less impressive.

"I wasn't born yesterday." She chuckled in my ear. "Out of the two of us, which one do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give you what you want tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running of to Esme in the morning?"

I exhaled with a loud huff. "So I have to marry you first?" I asked in disbelief.

"That's the deal—take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?"

I sighed, and I squirmed my way out of her arms. "I'll take it," I said. Eliza stared at me; I knew that she hadn't expected that to be my answer. I exhaled again and reached into my pocket—now was the best time. I slid off the bed, and got down on one knee. Eliza's eyes grew slightly, and she remained frozen on the bed. I removed the small black velvet box from my pocket, and opened it.

"Eliza Cullen, I promise to love and treasure you everyday for eternity. Would you do me the extraordinary honor of being my wife?" I smiled and waited. Eliza's eyes moved from me to the ring back to me. Her hands moved slowly, for a moment they seemed to be shaking. She grabbed the box and pulled the ring out. She seemed to examine it in the light. I could've sworn I heard her gasp. I was still on the floor when she slid the ring on her left hand. In a moment, too fast for me I was in her arms. Her lips pressed to mine. The kiss was hard, but soft at the same time. When I pulled away to breath, I looking into her gold eyes. If such a thing was possible, I'm sure tears would have been in her eyes.

"Is that a yes," I asked with a smile. Eliza laughed, the sound of church bells. She shook her head.

"Yes, a thousand times yes!"


End file.
